The Things I Do For Him
by IHaveTheKeyToYourHeart
Summary: Clare's pregnant with Fitz's baby. Fitz forced her to have sex with him. Clare's family decides to press charges. But is this too much for Eli and Clare to handle? Will Eli break his promise and hurt Fitz? Will Eclare be able to last through all of this?
1. Chapter 1

**I got this idea for a new EClare story, and I just had to write it. Don't worry C.A. fans (Complicated Affection), I will be updating both stories as often as possible. Please R&R! It means a lot to me. :)**

** BTW, this entire story is from Clare's POV.**

I closed my locker, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. Eli and I had just made things official; labels and all! From here on out, things were going to be good. No more games and no more mixed signals. I sighed contently and walked down the hall on my way to math class. Eli came up behind me and grabbed my hand. I smiled.

"Hey you." he smiled. I think my heart just skipped a beat.

"Hey yourself." I smiled back.

I didn't even realize Fitz was around us until he slammed into Eli, throwing him onto the floor and almost me too because we were holding hands. Eli's emerald green eyes immediately turned dark. Oh God, here we go again. I didn't want there to be a brawl in the middle of the hallway, because Eli would surely get in trouble. Just as he was about to lunge at Fitz, I stepped between them.

"Cool it, boys." Ms. Oh said as she walked past us. I gave Eli a warning look.

"Don't even waste your time Eli. He's not worth it." I said.

Eli stepped back, still looking really mad. I hated that he and Fitz had this ongoing war. It was only a matter of time before someone got really hurt, and I was trying to stop that from happening.

"Yeah, Eli." Fitz said in a taunting tone.

Eli's fists were clenched. I grabbed his wrist and interlaced my fingers with his. He relaxed a bit.

"Let's go." he said, turning around and walking away from Fitz.

I smiled at him. "I knew you were smart. Seriously though. Just try to ignore him, okay?"

Eli didn't answer. I stopped walking.

"Eli, promise me you won't start anything with him." I said.

"Fine. But what if he starts something with me?" he said as he let go of my hand. His eyes turned dark again, and I flinched. I didn't like this side of him, it honestly scared me.

He softened his expression a bit. I sighed.

"Then handle it like you just did. Turn the other cheek." I said.

"Yeah, sure." he said, a bit sarcastic as he turned around and started walking away again.

I sighed. Why did he have to be so stubborn sometimes?

I ran after him and stepped around in front of him.

"Promise me you won't fight with him anymore." I said, narrowing my eyes. I was dead serious.

He groaned. "Why do you even care so much? This doesn't even concern you."

I flinched again. I looked down at the floor. I couldn't stand it when he acted like this. And those words cut through me like knives. I looked up at him and I could tell he regretted saying that.

"Clare, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." his voice trailed off.

I rolled my eyes. I was annoyed now. "Promise me."

"Okay, fine. I promise." he said, holding up his right hand in a surrendering way.

...

Alli and I had plans to meet at the Dot after school. I grabbed the things I'd need for the homework I had for tonight from my locker. Then I walked outside and down the front steps. I put Eli's headphones on, and listened to my iPod. I was kind of in my own little world, so I didn't notice the commotion in the other end of the parking lot until I turned and faced that direction. I groaned and turned my iPod off and threw it in my tote. Two people were fighting right next to Eli's hearse. I couldn't see them very well, but I knew who they were. I ran towards them. Sure enough, it was Eli and Fitz. I can't even begin to describe how angry I was. Eli didn't even notice me standing there.

Eli lunged towards him, punching him in the mouth. Then Fitz grabbed his arm and slammed him into the ground. Eli was getting beat up pretty badly. His lip was busted and bleeding, and there was a gash across his cheek.

"Stop it!" I screeched.

Fitz turned towards me. He then grabbed his backpack off the asphalt and walked away. Eli sat up and faced me. He touched his lip and then examined his fingers which were now bloody.

"I can't believe you." I said, crossing my arms. "You promised me."

"Clare, I'm sorry." he said, getting up.

"Save it." I said, running off.

...

I was pissed. Beyond pissed actually. I didn't even want to think about Eli right now. I decided I might as well still meet Alli at the Dot. I rounded the corner of the street the Dot was on, and almost ran smack into FItz. I gasped and clasped a hand over my heart.

"You... you scared me!" I finally managed to get out.

"Oh, uh sorry." he shrugged and stared at the ground. He slid his hands into the pockets of his black pants and slouched his shoulders. Okay, this was really weird. Who was this guy and what did he do with the real Fitz? He was acting sort of... shy.

"Well, uh..." my voice trailed off as I tried to step around him. He grabbed my wrist. I flinched and tried to pull my arm away.

He immediately let go. "Clare, I'm gonna get right to the point."

"Um, okay?" I said, confused.

"I like you. A lot actually." he confessed. My eyes widened.

"Urm." I was at a loss for words.

"You can do so much better then that ass you call a boyfriend." he said, sounding a bit more like the Fitz I knew.

I shrugged. "I sometimes think that to. I hate how you guys fight all the time. I'm uh... flattered that you like me. B-but, you're no better for fighting with him."  
Fitz's expression turned hard and cold. I took a few steps back, feeling a bit intimidated.

"Are you still gonna keep going out with him?" he asked finally.

"I don't know yet." I honestly didn't.

He slammed his fist into the brick building we were standing next to. I jumped.

"That little bastard..." he mumbled to himself. I turned around and starting walking away, wanting to get away from him as soon as possible.

"Stop!" he yelled. I froze. "Look, I'm gonna make you a deal Clare." His eyes were mad, insanely mad now. I looked around, honestly afraid, to make sure that there were other people out on the street so that there were... witnesses if anything were to happen. I sighed in relief when I saw two older ladies talking outside the flower shop. They turned towards us when Fitz yelled.

"A... deal?" I whispered.

"I really hate Eli. That... little asshole needs to die." he said as I gulped. "And I don't really like him taking my girl." he stepped closer to me. I stepped back more.

"I have a knife." he said, I could feel the blood drain from my face. "So either you... come to my house tonight so I can" he paused "make love to you. Or I end Eli's life. Your choice."

My eyes widened in pure terror. I felt a bit dizzy, and it took everything in me to not start hyperventilating.

"Are... are you serious?" I finally managed to choke out.

Fitz nodded. "Do you want me to show you the knife?"  
I shook my head quickly. It was an easy decision obviously. If Fitz wanted my... virginity then that's what I had to give him. I was incredibly mad at Eli right now, but I wasn't going to be the cause of his death.

I nodded once, keeping my eyes locked on the ground.

"Okay." I said weakly. "I'll... sleep with you." I was absolutely disgusted as I said those words.

Fitz grabbed my hand roughly. He uncapped a Sharpie and scribbled something onto the back of my hand.

"There's my address. Be there at 7:00 sharp." he smiled. I swallowed the vomit I could feel coming up my throat.

He turned around the corner and left. I stared down at the writing on my hand.

Oh. My. God.

...

_6:45 _my phone's clock read. I was pacing my room, so nervous and terrified I think I was going to throw up. I ran to the bathroom and vomitted into the toliet. I was dizzy and still nauseous as I pulled myself up. I can't believe I was going to do this.

My parents were both at a Church fundraiser, and were going to be gone until about midnight, so I had plenty of time to get to Fitz's and back. I almost wished they didn't go, so I had an excuse to not do this tonight. To put it off for one more night, so I could prepare myself. _I'm doing this for Eli,_ I kept telling myself. I was doing this for his life.

I couldn't waste anymore time at home, so I went downstairs and left the house. Fitz's house actually wasn't too far from mine, and it would only take me about 5 minutes to get there. I was shivering uncontrolablly, from the cool breeze and from the butterflies in my stomach.

I finally got to his house. I was expecting it to be some sort of old, haunted looking house. But it was actually pretty normal looking. I timidly walked up to the front door. I knocked lightly. I felt like I was going to throw up again, but my stomach was empty now so I choked down the bile rising up my throat. Fitz threw the door open, his smile was huge. _What a sick person._

"You actually came." he said as he opened the door and motioned me inside. I stepped inside, feeling faint.

I nodded. He closed the door. _No going back now._

He led me into the living room and sat down on a brown couch in the center of the room. I sat down as far away from him as possible. He inched closer.

"I'll be gentle, I promise. Don't be nervous." he said huskily.

I stared at the floor. He got up and went over to the fireplace on the other end of the room and lit a fire. I ran my hands through my hair, trying to calm myself down. _You're doing this for Eli, you're saving his life._ I told myself.

He came back over and sat down again. I stared at my purity ring. I knew I was decieving God, but I hoped I would be forgiven. I was doing this to save a life, so it was a noble thing right?

I finally turned towards Fitz. He grabbed my hand and interlaced his fingers with mine. I cringed.

He then leaned in and kissed me. It was awkward. He then forced his tongue into my mouth. I was utterly repulsed. He then started kissing from my jawline to my neck. I wanted to throw him off of me and run out of here screaming. _You're doing this to save Eli!_ I kept chanting in my head.

Then he started taking off my sweater and then my shirt.

_You owe me, Eli._

_ ..._

**What do you think? Review please! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Blown away by the awesome reviews I got last chapter! Keep reviewing, it means a lot to me!**

I sat up and started putting my clothes back on. _Hold it together Clare, _I kept telling myself. It took everything I had not to completely collapse right here in Fitz's living room and completely meltdown. I buttoned up my sweater and then grabbed my purse. Fitz was still laying on the floor, breathless. _I can't believe I just did this._ I wasn't the same Clare that walked into this house an hour earlier... I was filth. I looked down at the purity ring on my finger, it felt like a huge neon sign, shouting out the crime I just committed. I slid it off and threw it in my purse.

"Well, uh thank you." Fitz said, as he sat up and wrapped a blanket around himself.

I nodded. Feeling the urge to throw up again. I walked towards the door. Fitz followed me.

"You'll... leave Eli alone now?" I whispered.

He nodded and opened the door for me. I stepped out into the cool night air and he closed the door behind me.

_Hang on Clare, you can't break down here, _I told myself. I walked to the sidewalk, shaking. I gripped my purse and practically started jogging. I finally couldn't hold my sobs in anymore, and the tears started falling down my cheeks before I could stop them. I was almost home when the black hearse pulled up behind me. I groaned to myself, pretending not to notice.

Adam stuck his head out the passenger window. "Clare!"

I turned around and waved, hoping that it was too dark for him to notice how much of a mess I probably looked like right now.

"Woah, what happened?" he jumped out of the hearse. Eli parked the car and then got out too.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Playing dumb probably wasn't the best idea...

"Clare, you're crying." Eli said. I was still pissed off at him, and considering what I just had to do for him, I was even more pissed.

I turned around and walked up to my door, subtley trying to wipe my face on my sweater sleeve in the process. Eli grabbed my arm and pulled me around so I faced him.

"What happened?" he asked. "Is it your parents?"

"Nothing happened, okay?" I said softly as I opened the door and stepped inside.

I was just about to slam the door when Eli put his foot in the threshold. I groaned.

"Please, go away." I said, throwing my purse on the table by the door.

"Clare, you aren't still mad about before are you?" he said, pushing the door open and stepping inside. I stepped backed. Adam was standing behind him, awkwardly adjusting his beanie.

"Gee, what would give you that idea?" I said sarcastically.

"Clare, I know I broke a promise or whatever-" I cut him off.

"Exactly. You broke a promise. Your definition and my definition of a promise must be different." I said, my voice breaking on the last word as I tried my best to not start crying again.

"Clare, I'm sorry." he said.

I sighed and sat down on the stairs and ran my hands through my hair. I didn't want to deal with this right now.

"Please, go home. I'll talk to you tomorrow." I said, my voice sounding a little more desperate and tired then I intended.

He sighed and turned around and headed towards the door. "Are you okay though?"

"I'm fine. Now go." I lied.

He stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Now I was completely alone. I ran upstairs and flung myself on the bed and buried my face in my pillow. _When did everything start going so wrong?_

_ ..._

I didn't go to school the next day. I told my mom I didn't feel good, and I honestly didn't. She usually insisted I go to school no matter how sick I was, but I imagine the expression on my face and how messy I looked made her not want to argue with me. They both left for work, and once again I was alone.

I spent all morning and early afternoon in bed, feeling absolutely drained of all energy. At around 2:00 I finally pulled myself out of bed. I decided I might as well work on my English assignment, so I turned on my computer. I worked on it for a good hour until I was interupted by an IM.

_eli-golds49: where were u today?_

I hesitated. I didn't know what to think about Eli right now. I wasn't really mad anymore, but I was still upset at the entire situation. I felt like I needed to clarify where our relationship stands right now.

_clare-e25: tired. i spent the day sleeping._

_ eli-golds49: oh. everything okay?_

_ clare-e25: actually... i kinda wanna talk to u._

_eli-golds49: okay... meet me at the dot in 20 mins?_

_ clare-e25: sure._

I logged off and shut the computer back down and sighed. I wasn't ever going to tell him about what happened last night, so I had to appear like nothing was wrong. I knew he was already kind of suspicious, because of the way I had acted last night, but I could just say I was mad at him at the time. I didn't think Fitz would ever bring it up, or at least I hoped so. If Eli ever found out... I don't even want to think about how he would react.

I went upstairs and took a quick 5 minute shower and then changed into my favorite skinny jeans, a yellow V-neck shirt and my basic black flats. I put on some makeup and then grabbed my purse and headed to the Dot. Morty was parked outside the Dot, so he must have gotten here before me. I walked inside and sure enough, he was sitting at a table in the back. I walked over and sat down across from him.

"Hey." I said, a bit shy as I sat down.

"Hey..." his voice trailed off. He folded his hands on the table. He looked just as uncomfortable as I felt.

"Okay, well just promise me you won't fight with Fitz anymore and I'll drop the whole thing." I said. I knew Fitz wouldn't even go near him again, but I had to keep up the charade.

"Okay, I promise." he sighed.

"Thank you. I don't like... worrying about you getting hurt." I said.

"Clare," he sighed. "I'm not gonna get that hurt. Plus, that's how you control bullies. Keep fighting them, keep them scared."

I motioned at the gash on his cheek. "Is it really worth all that?"

"What, this?" he touched the gash. "This is nothing."

"Sure, it's nothing now. But what happens when the fight escalates into a full out war? Fitz... he's insane. I wouldn't underestimate what he can do." I said.

He leaned back and looked at me, confused. "I thought we were going to drop this."

"Consider it dropped." I said.

We sat there awkwardly for a bit.

"Are we... okay then?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I guess so." I said, putting my hand up on the table and crossing my arms.

He stood up. "Come on then."

"Where are we going?" I asked, standing up and grabbing my purse.

"I don't know. Let's just go driving." he said.

We walked outside to Morty. I got in the passenger side. Eli got in on the other side and started the car. We drove in silence for a few minutes. Then he pulled into an abandoned parking lot.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

He unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out of the car. Confused, I stepped out as well.

"I'm gonna teach you how to drive." he said.

I laughed. "Are you crazy? I don't even have my Temps yet."

"Who cares?" he said, smirking and coming over to the passenger side. I went over to the other side and got in the driver's side. I had never been behind the wheel before.

And for the moment, Fitz and what had happened last night, was temporairly forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, lots of different opinions on the last chapter! I really enjoy every single review, whether you liked my story or not. Keep reviewing!**

I buckled my seatbelt. I was a little bit nervous.

"Alright, your mirrors are already adjusted so turn the car on." he said.

I shakily gripped the key and put it in the ignition. He stared at my hand.

"Clare, calm down. We're in an abandoned parking lot, not the side of a cliff." he chuckled.

I chuckled too, almost to the point where I sounded hysterical.

He raised his eyebrows.

"I don't know a thing about driving, okay? I'm fearing for both of our lives!" I said, gripping the steering wheel.

"Relax. That's why I'm here to teach you." I relaxed my grip a little bit. "Okay, put your hand at 10 and 2."

"Huh?" I asked.

He sighed and reached over and moved my right hand so it was parallel to my left one. His touch relaxed me a bit. "There, 10 and 2."

"Oh, like a clock." I said, feeling dumb.

He laughed.

"Now what?"

"Put the car into drive."

I switched the car out of park and into drive, the car started moving slowly. I slammed on the breaks and we both flew forward.

He smirked. Sometimes, I wanted to smack that smirk right off his face. I sighed.

"Help me."

"Okay, when the car moves that's a good thing. You don't have to slam on the breaks." he said.

I reached over and punched him in the arm.

"Damn, Clare. Didn't know violence was your style." he laughed again and I raised my hand to hit him again.

"I'm nervous so just shut up and teach me how to drive!" I said, getting frustrated.

"Okay, slowly step off the break and put it on the gas. Then hit the gas slightly."

I timidly stepped off the break. I froze.

"The car isn't gonna drive itself." he said.

Exasperated, I hit the gas a little too hard. The car flew forward and I was so shocked I couldn't even remember where the break was. I gripped the wheel and turned sharply to the left.

"The break!" Eli yelled.

I slammed the break. We flew forward again. Eli sighed. I slammed my head into the wheel, hitting the horn by accident.

"Alright. I think I just saw my life flash before my eyes." he said.

"This is hopeless. You're a bad teacher." I joked, sitting up.

"Or you're a bad student." he laughed. "Okay, let's try something else. How about you just worry about hitting the gas lightly and I'll steer."

He reached over and grabbed the wheel. I sighed.

"Okay, hit the gas _lightly._" he repeated.

I slowly hit the gas. Eli turned the car to the left. I then let go of the gas and rested my foot on the break.

"Well, that wasn't so bad." I said.

"You still have much to learn, young grasshopper." he smiled.

...

After driving around the parking lot for another hour or so, I had advanced to the point where I could steer _and_ use the gas and break. We switched back so that I was in the passenger side and he was in the driver's. He drove out of the parking lot and towards my house.

"Well the good news is, you aren't _completely_ terrible at driving, Blue Eyes." he smirked.

I laughed. "It'll still be awhile before I go out on the actual road." I said, preoccupied as I switched stations on the radio. I stopped at a station that was playing Heart Heart Heartbreak by Boys Like Girls. They happened to be one of my favorite bands.

"You like this band?" he asked.

"Yeah, they're good." I didn't want to say the real reason why I liked this band so much. I had a huge crush on the lead singer, and I'm sure that's not something I should share with Eli.

"Hm." he agreed. "They aren't bad. I would have thought you were into a different kind of music though." he said.

"What did you think I was into? Gospel?" I asked.

He laughed. "No. Just something more pop-ish."

"I like pop too." I shrugged.

We sat in silence for a few moments. Then the chorus of the song came on and I couldn't help but sing along.

_And say we're heading for a heart heart heartbreak_

_ And I don't ever ever wanna hear you say_

_ Don't say you love me_

_ Don't even_

_ Don't say you love me_

_ You're leavin'_

I looked over at Eli. I didn't even realize he had stopped the car and we were in front of my house. He smirked. Gosh, didn't he have another facial expression he could use sometimes? Urgh, who am I kidding? I love his smirk.

"You're actually a pretty good singer, Edwards." he said.

I felt the heat rise into my face. I looked out towards the window.

He chuckled. "Well, practice your driving. Maybe I can give you another lesson sometime."

I looked at him. "Fine." I laughed.

I opened the car door and stepped out. I walked around towards my yard. He opened his door too and stepped out.

We stood there, kind of awkwardly. I finally waved goodbye and turned around. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him.

"You forgot something." he whispered as he pressed his lips to mine. I was caught off guard, but I kissed him back. We had only kissed one other time before, for the English project a few weeks ago. This kiss was different though. It wasn't... curious like the last one, this one was more passionate.

He pulled away and smiled, not smirked for once.

"Aw, aren't you two cute." a deep voice said behind us. Eli immediately stiffened.

I felt the blood drain from my face as I turned around. _Oh no._


	4. Chapter 4

**Short chapter! I think I might keep the chapters this size or maybe a little bit longer. It's just easier for me, plus it drags out the story in a nicer way then a bunch of long chapters.**

I felt tears fill my eyes. Owen stood on the corner, amused. He must have known what me and Fitz did last night, it was evident in the stupid expression he wore. _This can't be happening_, I thought. I gave him my best pleading look. _Please don't do this._

"What do you want?" Eli spat, his voice thick with utter hatred.

Owen smirked. He knew exactly what he wanted to do; ruin my life.

"_Please, Owen..." _I mouthed so Eli wouldn't hear.

Owen raised his eyebrows at what I mouthed. Then his smirk faded into an amused smile. "Nothing. Just on my way to the Dot." he said as he held back a laugh.

I looked back at Eli. He raised an eyebrow at what Owen said. Then he looked at me and his expression turned confused. "Clare, are you okay? Why are you so pale?"

"I'm fine." I whispered. I turned back towards Owen. Then my heart sank as I saw Fitz walk around the corner. He stood next to Owen.

"Hey Clare." Fitz said as he winked. My stomach was in knots. "And Eli." he said, his voice taunting.

"Don't start." Eli said. He clenched his fists.

Fitz held up his hands in mock innocence and then he and Owen both burst out laughing. Then Fitz stepped closer, his fists also clenched. Eli wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me behind him. "Go inside." Eli whispered.

I shoved my way back in front of Eli. "No fighting." I choked out.

Fitz stepped back and unclenched his fists and smiled evilily. "Of course. No fighting."

I looked back at Eli. I had never seen a more confused expression on anyone before in my life.

Then I turned back to Fitz and Owen. "_Do we still have a deal?_" I mouthed to Fitz.

Fitz and Owen burst out laughing again. I felt weak. I had never really made sure Fitz was going to not tell anyone about what happened last night. _Oh God, for all I know the whole school could know._

Fitz finally stopped laughing, Owen was still wheezing like a cow. He nodded once, still wearing that dumb amused expression.

"_Please don't tell him._" I mouthed. Fitz shrugged. I inhaled loudly, feeling dizzy.

"I won't." Fitz said loudly, looking excited to see Eli's expression.

Eli ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, what?"

"Nothing." Fitz laughed again. Then he and Owen started walking towards us. I gulped. They shoved into Eli and then continued walking. Eli shot them a dirty look and then turned back towards me.

"What does he mean he 'won't.' " Eli asked, using air quotes.

I gulped. I had to think of something fast. I hated lying, for any reason. But I would rather lie then have Eli be suspicious.

"Don't be mad, but he asked me to tutor him and I agreed. Then I just asked him if he was going to miss our tutoring session at the library on Monday." I said, staring at the ground. I hoped I wasn't a terrible liar.

Eli's expression turned angry. Well, I guess that meant he bought it. "Why would you tutor _him_?"

"I don't know." That's the best answer I could come up with.

Eli sighed, annoyed. "Alright. Have fun tutoring your new bestest bud, Fitz." he said, the jealousy in his voice was crystal clear.

"I was just trying to do a nice thing for someone." I said, trying to sound annoyed as well.

He rolled his eyes. "You think _Fitz _deserves people doing nice things for him?"

"No." I said, defeated.

"So don't tutor him?" he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay." I said, awkwardly playing with the strap on my purse.

"Well..." Eli said, his voice trailing off.

I walked over to my front door. "Uh, see you Monday?"

He nodded and got in the hearse. I opened my front door and stepped inside and closed the door behind me. I chucked my purse in frustration across the room and it landed with a thud against the wall and then fell onto the floor.

_Alli is right, my life has turned into West Side Story._


	5. Chapter 5

** School has been bundles of fun lately! NOT, let's go back to summer, back when there was a new episode of Degrassi every weekday! Gosh, plus I'm sick so that's the reason for the late update. :(**

** BY THE WAY, I fast forwarded in the story. I normally hate doing that but this isn't going to be a very long story (maybe 13 chapters?) so we might as well get into the plot instead of me boring you with fillers.**

** Oh and as a little extra, I gave Eli a little POV in this chapter!**

** Clare**

_One Month Later..._

Fitz actually kept his word. He didn't tell anyone but Owen, as far as I know. But I doubted he told anyone else, no one would want to really keep _that_ gossip to themselves. Plus, the icing on the cake is Fitz actually has left Eli _and_ Adam alone. They were both confused to why he wasn't picking fights with them, but it seemed like he moved on to picking on some vulnerable freshmen.

But one thing that I was starting to get really worried about was that... my period was late. At least two weeks late. That wasn't exactly normal, but that happens right? I mean, I'm not dumb. I made sure Fitz used protection. I just don't know what to do... But one thing's for sure, I _can't_ be pregnant. That would absolutely ruin my life. Plus, I'm probably freaking out over nothing. But the paranoia is driving me insane...

...

I sat down next to Alli at the picnic table in front of school. She looked up from the magazine she was reading and smiled.

"Hey, haven't seen you in awhile! Just been so busy with your boyfriend?" she asked, her voice going from bubbly to sarcastic.

"Sorry Alli, I've just had a lot going on lately." I sighed and ran my hands through my curls.

"Oh." she said, her voice growing concerned. "What's going on?"  
I figured I'd tell Alli, about _everything. _I mean she was my best friend; she deserves to know. But should I tell her my concerns about my lack of a period?

"Alli, you can't tell _anyone_." I said.

"Okay, spill."

I sighed. "Last month... Fitz and I made a deal."  
She raised her eyebrows.

"He said some pretty insane things... like he'd kill Eli." I gulped. "But he said he would leave him alone if I... slept with him."

Alli's eyes widened. "Oh my God, Clare! Did you...?"

I nodded. My eyes filling with tears that I quickly blinked back.

Alli's mouth dropped open, but she quickly snapped it shut. I stared at my hand that was resting on the picnic table. My purity ring felt like a shackle all of a sudden.

She looked at my finger then to me. "Then why are you still wearing that?"  
I sighed. "I can't just _not_ wear it. Everyone would notice. Including my parents."

She nodded. "Geez Clare. That's pretty... intense."

"I realize that." I said, my voice sort of sarcastic.

"Eli owes you." she said.

"Eli doesn't know. And he won't ever know." I stared at the picnic table.

"Probably a good idea." she agreed.

"And uh... one more thing." I said.

"Oh God, there's more?"

"My uh... period is late." I said.

Alli dropped the book she had in her lap on the ground. She quickly snatched it and then smacked me in the arm. "Clare Edwards you didn't make sure he wore a condom!"

"Yes, he did! But they break right? Because this is really starting to freak me out!" I said, my voice growing hysterical.

"Calm down!" she gripped my shoulders. "You don't know anything yet, so it's best not to start freaking out until you actually know. We'll go buy a pregnancy test after school."

I gulped and buried my face in my hands. "I can't believe this."

"I can't either." Alli mumbled.

I sighed and the bell rang, signaling lunch was over. We stood up and headed inside. Alli rubbed my shoulder sympathetically.

"You'll get through this, Clare." she said.

_Boy, I sure hope so._

...

**Eli**

Adam and I sat down behind some trees that divided the parking lot and some picnic tables. We sometimes sat here during lunch. Adam was reading a comic book and I was listening to my iPod and eating a bag of chips. Suddenly, Adam looked up at me, a confused look on his face. He then snatched the earbuds out of my ears.

"What the hell, Adam?" I asked.

"_My uh... period is late_." I heard Clare say, her voice shaky.

Adam exchanged a confused look with me.

I then heard a thud. Something must have fallen on the ground. I hadn't even realized Clare was sitting at the picnic tables behind these trees.

"_Clare Edwards, you didn't make sure he wore a condom_?" a girlish voice hissed. I felt the blood drain from my face. Adam looked at me, his eyes wide.

"_Yes, he did_!" she exclaimed. "_But they break right? Because this is really starting to freak me out_!"

"_Calm down! You don't know anything yet, so it's best not to start freaking out until you actually know. We'll go buy a pregnancy test after school_." the same girlish voice said sympathetically.

"_I can't believe this_." Clare whispered, barely audible.

Then the bell rang. I was still frozen in place. Adam looked at me.

I was about to burst through the trees, confront Clare and demand to know what the hell was going on but Adam grabbed my arm.

"Dude, confronting her _now_ is not the best idea." Adam said, frowning.

"She's cheating on me!" I choked out.

Adam sighed. "That's pretty hard to believe. Saint Clare, sleeping with another dude?"

"Then what is she talking about! She thinks she's _pregnant_ Adam!" my voice rising.

We walked around the trees. I was shaking out of fury.

"Just calm down. You can't assume anything to you actually talk to her." Adam said.

I sighed. I could see Clare walking into school with some other girl with black hair. I clenched my fists.

"I'll talk to her after school." I stated.


	6. Chapter 6

** I know I take forever to update and I'm so sorry! I can only write when I'm home alone because my parents are constantly checking what I'm doing on the computer (which is VERY annoying), so I don't exactly want them seeing my writing.**

** BY THE WAY, I think I'm starting to DIE from New Episodes of Degrassi Deprivation (NEDD) It's a disease. GOSH, OCTOBER 8TH HURRY UP PLEASE.**

The day dragged by slowly. I can't believe this. I, _Saint Clare,_ is going to buy a _pregnancy test_ after school. The anxiety was consuming me from the inside out. I completely chewed off all my nails in math class that afternoon. And I couldn't stop fidgeting. I _could_ not be pregnant! What would I do if I was?

Finally, the last bell rang, signaling school was over. Thank goodness I didn't see Eli all afternoon. He would be sure to notice my nervousness and most likely weasle an explanation out of me. I couldn't tell him about _any_ of this. It would definately start the beginning of World War 3 if he knew.

I grabbed my wallet out of my locker and slammed the door. I was meeting Alli out on the front steps in 5 minutes. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. _Pull it together Clare, _I told myself. I walked down the hallway and turned the corner, running smack into Eli. I could feel the blood drain from my face.

He looked at me weirdly. Like he had something to say but didn't know how to say it. I tried to relax so he wouldn't notice how nervous I was.

"Can we talk?" he said softly. My eyes widened. Something in his eyes told me he knew something. I felt faint.

"S-sure." I choked out. He grabbed my wrist, kind of roughly. I flinched as he pulled me around into an abandoned hallway.

He leaned against a row of lockers. I stood a few foot in front of him. We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few seconds.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly. _Oh God, he knows something is up._

"W-what do you mean?" I said, barely a whisper.

He stood up. His expression immediately turning angry. I backed up.

"Don't play dumb." he said, his voice harsh.

"I... I honestly don't know what you're talking about." I said, turning around. Too terrified to look him in the eyes.

He grabbed my hand and spun me around and pulled me closer to look him. I flinched again as tears welled up in my eyes.

"I heard you talking at lunch today... I didn't mean to but I did. What's going on?" he asked again, his tone softening a bit.

I tried to blink back a tear but it spilled over. I quickly wiped it away and shook Eli's hand off of my wrist.

I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I stuttered and slipped over the beginning words. He raised his eyebrows and then sighed, frustrated and turning around and slammed his fist into a locker, leaving a small dent in the metal. I jumped.

"I... I can't do this." I finally managed to say, and quickly started to walk away, finally letting the tears flow freely. I could hear him following me and I knew he wasn't going to give up. I pushed open one of the front doors and ran down the steps. Alli was sitting at the bottom of them, and she quickly closed the book she was reading and jumped up when she saw me. She ran up in front of me.

"What happ-" she stopped talking and looked over my shoulder. I imagine Eli was standing there. I bet both of our facial expressions gave away the whole thing.

She quickly looped her arm through mine and started pulling me away.

"What the _hell_ is going on?" Eli roared. Alli tried to drag me away but he roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me away from her.

"Leave her alone!" Alli screeched.

He grabbed my chin and forced me to look in his eyes. I knew we were causing quite a commotion, I could hear people's hushed whispers and numerous eyes boring into my back.

"Please, not here." I begged.

Eli sighed and let go of me and grabbed my wrist. "Let's go then." he said as he dragged me across the parking lot to Morty. He opened the passenger door and I slowly crawled in, trying to calm myself down. I looked out the window and could see Alli standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking directly at the car, with a bewildered expression on her face. Eli got in the driver's side and slammed the door. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I buried my face in my hands and tried to control my sobbing. We didn't talk the entire drive, and he didn't even bother to turn on the radio to fill the uncomfortable silence. The only noise was the sound of my choked sobs.

He stopped the car and I looked up to see where we were. My vision was blurry because of the tears, but I knew where we were. We were at the park. The same park where we had filmed the Romeo and Juliet scene for English class. The same park where we had shared our first kiss. It carried good memories, it seemed innappropriate for this situation.

He shut off the car and turned towards me.

"Tell me what's going on." he said. His expression blank.

I stared out the window. The park was basically empty, except for an older couple sitting at a picnic table. I turned back towards Eli.

"Don't hate me." I whispered.

"I can't say I won't." he said. He gripped the steering wheel. "You think you might be pregnant." it wasn't exactly a question.

I nodded weakly. He slammed his fists into the steering wheel. I bit my lip to stop crying.

"You had sex with some other guy?" he said, disbelieving.

"Let me explain." I said softly.

"This should be good." he said sarcastically as he turned away from me.

"Last month... Fitz-" he cut me off.

"YOU SLEPT WITH FITZ?" he roared.

"LET ME FINISH!" I yelled back, surprised at myself for being capable of yelling.

"He told me he was going to kill you... unless I slept with him. I'm sorry." I said, my voice breaking on the last word.

...

**CLIFFY. MUHAHAHAHA.**


	7. Chapter 7

** You guys get another update today! Thanks for the amazing reviews!**

Eli's face twisted into some kind of expression I've _never_ seen before. I began to feel a little afraid, and I pressed my back up against the door, resting one hand on the handle.

"I'm sorry. I did it for you." I said, my voice shaking.

He looked from me to the steering wheel. He let go of it and then ran his hands through his hair.

"You're kidding right?" he finally managed to say, his face going blank.

"I wish." I breathed, loosing my grip on the door handle.

"I don't know what to say." he said. _This is a first, Eli being lost for words._

I sighed. "Well now you know, so can you drive me back to school?"

"No. I don't know what to say, _first."_ he clarified.

"What else is there to say?" I said. Even though I knew we had a _lot_ to talk about.

"Well," he began "I'm contemplating whether I should go kick Fitz's ass now or later." he clenched his fists.

"Don't. Eli, me and Fitz made a... deal. He's gonna leave you alone now so don't start the problem all up again. Otherwise, I did all of _this_ for nothing." I bit my lip.

"I'm not gonna let him get away with taking... with taking you're goddamn virginity Clare!" he said as he put the keys in the ignition.

I quickly leaned over and grabbed them out of the ignition.

"This isn't up for debate. Give me those." he reached his hand out to take the keys.

"Fine. Go fight with him." I dropped the keys in his hand.

He raised an eyebrow. "What's the catch?"  
"No catch. But you're relationship status will change if you go fight with him." I crossed my arms.

"An ultimatum?"

"This is serious Eli. If you go fight with him, or even _talk_ to him..." my voice trailed off.

"I don't get it, who's side are you on?" his tone turned sharp again.

I rolled my eyes. "You know whose side I am on. I did that for _you _and all you're doing is yelling at me." I kicked open the car door and stepped out and started walked towards the exit of the park, fuming.

I heard his car door open and I quickened my pace. I heard him jog up behind me.

"Clare, I'm sorry." he said softly.

I turned around. "Leave me alone."

"I won't fight Fitz."

"Great but that's not the point." I gripped my tote.

He sighed. "I just can't believe you'd do _that_ for me though... You should have told me when he threatened you orignally and we could have gone to the police or something..."

I felt tears fill my eyes."I know but I knew it would just cause more problems if I went to you... you would have fought him again and it's just" my voice broke and I desperately tried to keep from crying again "I thought I could just get it over with and everything would be solved and there would be no more problems..."

Tears spilled over and Eli stepped closer and cupped my face. My heart thumped as I stared into his emerald eyes. _Damn those eyes. I can't stay mad at him._

He wiped away my tears with his thumb and wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I stopped crying and leaned my head on his chest.

"I love you." he whispered in my ear. My heart stopped. He had never said that to me before.

I gently pulled away from him and looked up at him. "I love you too." I whispered.

Then his lips crashed onto mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me up onto my tiptoes. I melted into him, and all the stress I had been carrying all day long melted away too. I gripped his blazer and he licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I granted it and our tongues fought for dominance. He pulled away after awhile, as we were both gasping for air. He smiled, not smirked, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Thank you." he said.

"For what?" I giggled slightly.

"For doing that for me. I can't even put into words how... lucky I am to have you."

I smiled. "Well, it's in the past now. I want to pretend it never happened but... I have to... I have to go get a pregnancy test." his smile faded.

"So you actually do think you might be... pregnant?" he frowned.

I frowned too. "I can't believe it..."

"Well, you don't know for sure yet. There's still hope."

I sighed. "I guess." I paused. "Can you drop me off at Alli's house? We're gonna go... get _it_."

"Do you want me to be there too?"

I thought for a second. "I guess I would like some more support. Let's go pick her up then go to the drug store."


	8. Chapter 8

**I know I promised I'd update twice YESTERDAY, but I ended up hanging out with a friend for the majority of the day. So I'm skipping my English homework and writing an extra long chapter for you guys. **

Alli was leaning up against a counter with two sinks. The stupid piece of plastic that basically determined my fate laid on the counter next to her. She was holding her phone, constantly checking the time to see when the three minutes were up. We were the only ones in the woman's restroom at the drug store, and Eli stood just outside the door. I was pacing the bathroom, nervously running my hands through my hair.

"It'll be okay Clare. No matter what happens." Alli sympathetically smiled.

I didn't reply and just kept pacing.

"How long is three minutes?" I finally blurted out.

"Actually, I think it's up." Alli closed her phone and then looked up at me.

I rushed towards the counter, snatching the test. I shut my eyes tight, and inhaled sharply.

I could sense Alli stiffen. I opened one eye slowly.

I practically fainted when I saw the pink + sign glare at me from the tiny screen. I dropped it, it clanked softly onto the floor.

"No." I said softly, disbelieving.

Alli bit her lip. "I'm sorry Clare."

I started pacing again. "Those things are wrong sometimes though, right? There's definately still a little hope left, right? It's not a definate yet."

Alli grabbed the test off the floor and dropped it into the trash. She sighed and crossed her arms.

"I guess. You should probably go to the doctor."

"No. No I'm not pregnant. I don't _feel_ pregnant." I said.

"You don't 'feel'," Alli said, making air quotes around 'feel". "pregnant until you're out to here," she brought her hands a few inches out in front of her stomach. "and have swollen feet."

"No." I said, disbelieving.

Alli sighed and grabbed her tote and then mine, swinging them both over her left shoulder. Tears welled in my eyes, _again,_ I was getting sick of crying. She walked over and grabbed my arm and started dragging me to the door.

I didn't know how to tell Eli. This would devastate _him_ more then it would devastate me.

And just the fact that there is most likely Fitz's child growing inside of me, made my stomach heave. Alli grabbed the door handle but I quickly shrugged her arm off and ran into the nearest stall. I emptied the contents of my stomach. Alli sighed.

"Do you want me to get you something?" Alli asked quietly.

I flushed the toliet and stood up. I felt woozy and dizzy but I could walk. I walked back towards the door and shook my head.

I opened the door and stepped out. My eyes were wet and I still felt sick. Eli was pacing back and forth, in front of the bathrooms. He quickly turned around. His face immediately fell when he took in my image.

I nodded once. Alli sighed and dropped the totes onto the floor. Eli slammed his fist into the wall, causing a few people just outside the bathroom area to turn around and give him a weird look. He grimaced.

"I'm going to _kill_ him." he finally said, his voice menacing.

"No." I said, it was all I could bring myself to say.

He turned towards me and sighed and nodded slowly.

"Well, can we at least involve the police?" he asked.

"I don't want to press charges or anything."

"And why not?" he asked, his voice rising.

"Because. I don't want to go through all of that."

He sighed. "So you're gonna let him get away with _fucking_ your life up?"

I shrugged sadly. "I guess so."

"Well, an abortion won't be fun but at least you won't have to deal with _his_ child."

"Woah, what made you assume I'm gonna get an abortion?" I had never believed in abortion. It was wrong.

He raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms. "You are gonna keep it?"

I groaned. "Let's not have this conversation here, alright?" I said, trying to keep my voice leveled.

He sighed and started walking towards the door. Alli handed me my tote and looped her arm through mine and we walked outside. Eli got into the hearse without saying a word. Alli sighed and unhooked her arm.

"I'm sure you two have a _lot _more to talk about so I'll just walk home. Call me later alright?" she gave me a quick hug.

"Are you sure? Eli could drive you home-" she cut me off.

"That's alright. Best of luck." she gave me a small smile and then turned around and walked away.

I slowly walked over to the passenger side of the door and got in. Eli had the music blasting, and was staring at the center of the steering wheel intently.

I reached over and hit the off button on the stereo. He didn't budge.

"I don't believe in abortion. The baby didn't do anything, it doesn't deserve to be... _killed."_ I said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"So you're just gonna raise that bastard's child?"

"It's mine too... and I was thinking more along the lines of adoption." I said softly.

"So you're gonna go through a pregnancy for no reason when you don't have to?" he said, shaking his head in disbelief and leaning back in the seat.

"I have no other choice."

"Yes, you do. The... baby," the word baby seemed to pain him "Never even got to live so what's the difference?"

"There is a huge difference, don't even say that!" I practically shouted.

"Fine. I don't have a say in anything so I don't even know why we're discussing this."

"Are you kidding me? Wow, all I ask for is some support and I get this _crap_ from you everytime!" I was definately shouting now.

Eli turned towards me fully now. "I'm sorry. It's just... a lot to take in." he inhaled sharply and ran his hands through his hair.

"No shit." I muttered, surprised at myself for cussing which I hardly ever did.

He raised an eyebrow and then turned the car on and backed out of the parking spot.

"What are you going to tell your parents?" he asked, after a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence.

I grew pale. I hadn't even thought of that.

"If I tell them the truth, they're definately gonna take Fitz to court... That can't happen."  
"Jesus, Clare! This guy stole everything from you and left you with a pregnancy, just press the freaking charges!" he was shouting again.

"No." I said sharply. "I have to relive it again then. I don't want to."

"You're so _stubborn_." he muttered.

"Ugh!" I screamed. "You know what? Just pull over and let me out. I'll walk."

"No." he said.

"I'll jump if you don't." I said.

"Good luck unlocking the door."

I grabbed the lock and tried pulling the notch up but it wouldn't budge. I groaned.

"Just let me out I am so sick of arguing with you and I especially don't feel like arguing right now."

"I'm sorry." he said again. He pulled over.

"Unlock the door." I said through clenched teeth.

"No." he said. He thought for a second. "You'll tell your parents the baby is mine. They'll hate me but you won't have to press charges against Fitz."

I furrowed my brow. "Eli, I'm not gonna have my parent's hate you."

"What other choice do you have?" he asked. And I knew he was right.

I sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry."

He leaned back in the seat. "It's alright, Blue Eyes." he smiled weakly at me. And Eli's actual smiles were rare. It made my heart skip a beat.

We sat in silence for a minute. "I'm sorry I'm putting you through this."

"I'm sorry I'm putting _you _through this." he said.

"It's not your fault. It's Fitz's." I said.

"No." he said simply.

I sighed. "Yes it's Fitz's, end of story. Anyways, we'll tell my parents tonight." I gulped.

"Should I wear a bullet proof vest?"

"Probably." I said.


	9. Chapter 9

_ (Clare's POV)_

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." I said softly, rising from the couch and walking over to the door. My parents sat on the other couch, sitting as far away from each other as possible, mindlessly watching TV. They had been fighting a lot lately, which meant this whole _situation _had really bad timing.

I knew who was on the other side of the door. I glanced up at the clock. It was 7:00 on the dot, the time I told Eli to be here. I paused before opening the door, trying to control my nerves. My palms were kind of sweaty and I had huge butterflies in my stomach. If this is how nervous I felt, I could only imagine how Eli felt. But he is usually calm and cool, no matter what situation he is put in.

I inhaled sharply then slowly opened the door. There stood Eli, wearing black skinny jeans and a _baby blue _button down and a _purple _tie.

"What's up with the new get-up?" I said, trying to lighten the mood. I knew he was nervous, as he had his arms crossed and kept fidgeting.

"I figured it would be best if I didn't show up wearing all black for _this_." he said.

I sighed. "I can't guarantee anything, but if things get out of control you can leave and I'll deal with them." I said softly.

"No, afterall it is 'my baby'." he said, making air quotes.

"Clare? Who is at the door?" I heard my dad's call from the living room.

I gulped. "Here goes nothing." I whispered.

Not only did we have to drop the whole pregnancy bomb on my parents, I also had to tell them that Eli was my boyfriend. I'm guessing that them not knowing he was my boyfriend in the first place before tonight won't help very much either.

Eli stepped inside and I closed the door. Then I lead him into the living room. My parents both looked up from the TV they were pretending to watch.

"Who's this?" my mom asked, kind of rudely. _Off to a great start_, I thought sarcastically.

"Urm, Mom, Dad. This is Eli. My uh, boyfriend." I concluded.

My parents both raised their eyebrows and exchanged a look.

"Oh, well nice to meet you Eli." my dad said, standing up and sticking out his hand.

Eli strode over and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you too Mr. Edwards."

Then Eli stuck out his hand towards my mom. She just stared at it. Then he awkwardly smoothed his hair and dropped his hand.

"Now Helen, don't be so rude." my dad said, his voice rising.

"Randall, do not treat me like a child." my mom said, her voice acidic.

I cleared my throat, silencing them. My dad sat back down and then awkwardly motioned for us to sit down. I sat down next to Eli on the other couch.

"Mom, Dad, we have to tell you something..." I said, my voice trailing off as I stared at the floor.

I looked up and my dad's face was stern. My mom was pale.

"I... I'm pregnant."

My parents quickly exchanged a look. Then my mom jumped up.

"You... you slut!" my mom screeched.

I flinched and I looked over at Eli, who was pale as well.

"Mom... it was a mistake." I said.

"How did this happen? I thought we raised you with good Christian morals. Instead you're sleeping around with random boys?" my mom roared, pointing a finger at me.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "Mom-" she cut me off.

"And you!" she pointed her finger at Eli now. "You knocked up my daughter? I knew something was different about you Clare! Don't you see it? This boy took advantage of you! He changed you!"

"Helen, calm down." my dad said softly.

My mom slowly dropped her finger and then crossed her arms. "I can't deal with this right now." she said, grabbing her purse and running out the front door, slamming it behind her.

My dad looked from me to Eli. "Clare, this better not be a joke."

"It's not." I said sadly, a tear running down my cheek.

My dad, obviously disappointed in me, stood up. "I think we all need to sleep on it. We'll deal with this in the morning." he said, going over to the stairs.

I heard a door close upstairs and then it was just me and Eli. We sat in silence for several minutes.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked me.

"I was expecting worse actually." I sighed. "But that still wasn't... fun."

"You're telling me." he said.

I looked down at my finger. My purity ring was still on, but I guess I could take it off now. I slid it off and chucked it across the room, hearing the soft _clank _as it landed behind the TV.

"Well, I guess I should go then." he said, standing up.

I looked up at him, my eyes still gleaming with tears. "Okay." I said softly.

I walked him to the door, my legs feeling like jelly. "Eli?"

He turned around and looked at me.

"I think I'll get the abortion." I said, staring at the floor.

"Woah, why?" he asked.

"Because I'm already putting you through so much." I said.

"Clare, you don't have to worry about putting me through anything. This is all my fault to begin with." he said.

"No, it's not." I said.

"You don't have to get the abortion." he said.

I sighed. "Okay, alright."

...

_(Eli's POV)_

After leaving Clare's house, I headed over to Adam's. Honestly, I just really needed to talk to another dude. I texted him, telling him that I was coming.

I knocked on the door and a few moments later he opened it.

"Whats up?" he said, motioning me inside and then leading me downstairs to the basement.

I sighed. "Dude, Clare's pregnant."  
Adam was sipping a soda and gulped and then choked when I said that.

"Dude!" he hollered. "You two had sex? You and _Saint_ _Clare_?"

"No, _we_ didn't." I said, sitting down on the couch across from him.

Adam's eyes widened. "You're kidding right?"

"I wish I was." I said sadly.

"Bro, who did she...?" his voice trailed off.

"Fitz." I said, clenching my fists.

Adam looked beyond shocked. "No way."

I explained the entire situation to him, the blackmail, the pregnancy, how Clare didn't want to press charges.

"Damn." Adam muttered. "You gotta convince her to press charges. Think about it. We could put Fitz behind bars!" he said, almost excitedly.

"We?" I questioned.

"Clare. Clare could put Fitz behind bars." he said, his face falling as he awkwardly played with the zipper on his jacket.

"Well, yeah. That'd be awesome to get Fitz arrested. But you know how Clare is. When she has got her mind made up _nothing _on earth can change that."

Adam sighed. "Then Fitz is just gonna walk around with the satisfaction of knowing he screwed up both of your lives. That's not right."

"I know. But there's nothing I can do." I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated.

"Yes you can." Adam said. "Kick his ass. Make him pay."

"Easier said then done. However much I hate to admit it, he can kick my ass way faster then I can kick his. Plus, Clare will kill me if I dead that."

Adam sighed again. "Harsh buzz man. I don't know what to tell you. I guess you'll just have to support Clare through all of this and hope for the best."

I sighed. "Yeah."

** Don't worry! The BIG drama is coming.**


	10. Chapter 10

(_Clare's POV)_

The next morning I woke up with a pounding headache. I knew I had a lot to face that day, so I'd rather go back to being unconscience. But I pulled myself out of bed, got dressed and headed downstairs. My parents were sitting at the table, staring blankly at the wooden surface.

"Good morning." I said weakly, awkwardly sliding into the chair across from them and pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

My mom just nodded. My dad start shuffling through the stack of newspapers on the table.

I swallowed my juice in one gulp and stood up. "I'm gonna go into school early. To do some homework." I lied.

"Honey, come home right after school. We have a lot to talk about." my mom said softly but sternly.

"Okay." I said, grabbing my school tote off the floor by the door.

"Oh, and bring Eli and his parents too. We would like to discuss some things with them too." my dad said.

I gulped and felt the blood drain from my face. _Oh God no! I don't want to put Eli and his parents through all of this!_

"But... why his parents?" I asked, feeling the juice rise in my throat as I choked it back down.

"We have lots to talk about. His parents need to be here too." my dad said.

"Okay, bye." I said, trying to keep my voice from rising into hysterics as I rushed out the door.

...

I sat at a picnic table outside of school, staring at the words on the page of my history textbook but not reading them. It was early, only 7:15. Since school didn't start until 8:00, barely any students were here yet. My grades had been slipping for the past few weeks, because of all the drama in my life. I desperately needed to study, but I couldn't get myself to focus.

"Boo!" I heard a voice yell behind me. I jumped a few inches of the bench.

I turned around. Eli stood there, smirking. I scowled at him.

"Why are you here so early?" I asked.

"Nice to see you too." he said sarcastically. "I woke up early and I didn't feel like being at home." he said as he sat down next to me.

I sighed. "My parents want to talk to you and your parents. After school." I bit my lip.

Eli's eyes widened. "Well, I wasn't planning on including my parents in all of this."

"I know." I slammed my face into my book. "I don't know what to do."  
"Well, I guess I better call my parents and tell them about this." Eli said, taking out his phone. I grabbed it from him.

"No." I said, setting the phone down on the table.

"Uh?" Eli asked, confused.

"I'm not gonna turn your life even more upside down." I said.

"Stop worrying about me."

"That's kind of impossibe." I said, running my hands through my hair.

"I'll bring my parents over after school. We'll keep telling the lie, it'll be okay."

"That's exactly the point!" I screeched. "I'm tired of living this lie!" I stood up and threw my book in my tote, and started heading towards the front door of the school. I could feel Eli walking behind me.

I turned around abrubtly. "I'm coming clean. After school. I'll press the charges. Enough is enough."

"Woah. You don't have to do that. I don't mind having my parents thinking this, it's okay."

"No, it isn't so stop saying that! This is what you wanted in the first place, so be happy about it!"

He sighed. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

I nodded.

He kissed me quickly. "I have to go study. Do you want me to be there, when you tell your parents the truth?"

I shook my head. "I can handle it."

He nodded and then turned down the hall.

_Can I handle this_? I asked myself.

...

Later that day, I ran into Fitz, literally. My head was buried in my math book, trying to cram because I had a quiz next hour and I honestly had no idea what we had been doing in class for the past week. I wasn't watching where I was going and well...

"What where you're goi- Oh, hi Clare." Fitz said, helping me up off the floor. He then picked up my math book and handed it to me.

"Hi." I said, awkwardly clutching my book.

"So, uh, how are you?" he asked.

"Um, can I actually talk to you sometime?" I asked. _He might as well know I'm carrying his child._

Fitz's eyes lit up, oddly. "Sure. How about after school?"

"Can't. How about later? Coffee at the Dot?" I asked.

"Sure. Meet you there at 6:00?"

"Okay." I forced myself to smile, even though I felt like kicking him.

He walked away. Eli strode up to me, obviously mad.

"Why were you talking to him?" he asked.

"I'm carrying his child. He has a right to know."

"I don't want him being involved." Eli said, grabbing my arm.

"He isn't going to be! Calm down." I said, he let go of my arm.

"Wait, aren't you going to press charges?" he asked.

"Well, I am gonna have to. But I kind of want to talk to him beforehand."

"That's... weird. You're gonna be all nice to him, then press charges?"

"Who said anything about being nice?" I asked.

** Sorry, this chapter was sorta a filler. But it was necessary.**


	11. Chapter 11

** Hello lovely readers! It's been awhile since an update. I'm sorry :( Had a crapload of homework EVERY night for the past few weeks and I've barely had time to do anything. I hope this extra long, drama-filled chapter will make up for it!**

** Oh, and I just saw Love Lockdown pt. 2. Aislinn can't fake cry very well, but I still felt really bad for Clare. :( I really hope she doesn't screw up her relationship with Eli though, because she keeps doing stupid things!**

I was dreading the two things I had to face after school. My parents and Fitz. After the last bell rang, I practically had to force myself to go home.

I walked into my house, dropping my tote by the door and kicking off my shoes. I walked into the living room and my dad was sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Hello Clare." he said, a little too casually. "Uh, where's that Eli-boy and his-" I cut him off.

"Dad, where's mom? I... I have something else to tell you guys." I bit my lip and slowly sat down on the couch across from my dad.

He stiffened and sat up, letting his feet drop off the coffee table he was using as a foot rest. "She stepped out for a bit. She should be home any minute."

He grabbed the remote off the coffee table and turned the TV off. He then awkwardly scratched his head and then crossed his arms.

"Is... is there something else going on? Is it... serious?" he asked.

"Um... I'd rather say when mom gets home." I said, looking at the floor.

_Perfect timing. _Just as I finished saying that, the front door opened and I could hear my mom hanging up her coat.

"Clare? Sweetie where's Eli and his parents?" she asked, walking around in front of me and sitting next to me.

It was really weird that they were being so casual about all of this. I mean, they just found out I was pregnant last night and neither of them took it that well, especially my mom.

"Um. That's what I actually wanted to talk about." I said.

"Okay, what's going on?" my mom asked, her tone going from concerned to worried.

"Eli... he... uh he acutally... he isn't... I mean... he's not..." my voice trailed off as I awkwardly stared at the floor again. My parents both stared at me.

"Well, out with it Clare. I'm sure it can't be much worse then what we found out last night." my dad said, as he let out a nervous chuckle.

"Eli's... not the dad." I said, slowly looking back up at them.

I could feel my mom stiffen next to me. My hands were shaking, badly. She slowly reached out and took one of my hands, grasping it in both of her's.

"Clare." my mom said, disappointment flooding her voice. I felt tears spring into my eyes but I quickly blinked them back. I had other problems too, I would not break down now.

"Mom, please." I said, my voice sounding a little more exasperated then I intended it to be. "Let me explain."

She nodded slowly. "A little more then a month ago, this kid named Fitz threatened me. He said he would kill Eli if I didn't..." I paused. "Sleep with him."

My parents quickly exchanged shocked glances. I continued on.

"So... I did. Because I doubt he was kidding and I wouldn't underestimate what he would do. He has been bullying Eli for months." my voice broke on the last word as tears flooded my eyes again. "And... I guess we weren't careful enough because I took a test and I'm pretty sure I'm... pregnant." A tear trickled down my cheek that I quickly wiped away. My mom handed me the box of tissues from the coffee table but I ignored them.

"And I didn't want to press charges because I was hoping this would just all go away. But I realize it's not gonna. And Eli tried to cover for me. But he really didn't do anything wrong." I took a tissue and wiped my eyes. My parents were frozen.

"What's this kid's last name? I'm calling the police." my dad stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

"Dad please!" I cried. "I know we'll have to contact the police eventually but it's been a really long day and I have to go do something. Please, can we do this tomorrow?"

My dad stopped and turned around. "Clare, you should have came to us right away instead of going through of all that. We have to contact them immediately."

"Randall, let's just do this tomorrow." my mom said softly.

My dad opened his mouth to protest but my mom cut him off with a warning glance. He looked from me to my mom and then turned around and headed upstairs.

"I'm sorry mom." I said softly, crumpling the tissue in my hand.

"Sweetie, none of this is your fault. You did the right thing." my mom pulled me into a hug.

"Then why do I feel like I messed up really badly?" I cried, tears rapidly falling down my cheeks.

"Because right now, you're still in shock over all of this. Now, we have a lot of other things to discuss but I think this is enough for today. Now, what'd you have to go do?"

I gulped. "Urm. I was gonna meet Eli at the Dot. We have a lot to talk about too."

_ Why was it getting easier and easier to lie these days?_

"Okay. But don't stay out too late. And hang in there sweetie. We'll get through this, I promise." my mom gave me a small smile and kissed me on the cheek and then got up and left the room.

I nodded and got up from the couch. I first went to the bathroom, to calm down and clean myself up a bit. Then I grabbed my purse and headed outside.

It only took me a few minutes to get to the Dot. I was supposed to meet Fitz here at 6:00 but it was only 5:30. I sat down at a table and ordered a decaf tea. I had a lot on my mind, so I didn't even notice Eli and Adam until they sat down across from me.

"Hey." Eli said softly.

"Um, Fitz might be here soon." I said.

"I know. I'm leaving in a few minutes. I just wanted to know how it went, with your parents." he said. Adam gave me a weak smile.

"Wait, Adam, do you know about everything?" I asked.

"Yeah, uh, Eli told me. If you need anyone else to talk to, you know where to find me." he got up from the table. "I'll let you two talk."

I nodded at Adam and turned back towards Eli. "Um, surprisingly it actually went kind of well. We are gonna... talk to the police tomorrow."

Eli nodded. "Are you okay?"

"I will be. I just have a lot to figure out."

"Hang in there." Eli said, leaning across the table and kissing me on the cheek. Even though I felt like crap, I still blushed.

He smirked, of course. And then got up and left the restaurant, with Adam following. A few minutes later, Fitz walked in. He spotted me and strolled over, sitting down where Eli was just sitting.

"Hi." he said casually.

"Fitz. I'm gonna get right to the point." I was angry at him. Incredibly angry at him for turning my life upside down. I was gonna drop the news and then get out of here. I didn't want to spend anymore time with him then I had to.

"Um, okay." he said.

I exhaled sharply. "I'm pregnant. It's definately your's. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with it yet but I'm thinking adoption. I thought you should know at least know about this." The words all tumbled out. Fitz raised his eyebrows and then leaned back in his chair.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked.

"No. So that's all there is to say. Bye." I grabbed my purse but Fitz put his hand on the table to stop me.

"So... I'm gonna... I'm gonna be a dad?" he asked as he smiled a little bit.

"Um, yeah." I said.

"Well, that's... big news." he said. "But, you're seriously thinking adoption?"

I obviously wasn't gonna mention how I was going to involve the cops, but I just wanted to get out of here.

"Yes. I have to go now." I got up and quickly left.


	12. Chapter 12

_ (Eli's POV)_

After I left the Dot, I sat in Morty, just thinking. I knew Clare was bottling a lot up, and trying to be brave about everything. But with everything else going on, I knew it was only a matter of time before she cracked. And when she did, it would be _bad._ Really bad.

I couldn't help but get unbelievabley pissed whenever I thought about how Fitz did this to her. I knew that if I even talked to him, Clare would dump me and that would be one more bad thing to add to her list and I didn't know if she could take it. But he completely ruined her life, and I had to find a way to make him pay.

_ (Clare's POV)_

When I got home, I immediately went to my room without saying anything to my parents. I was so confused over Fitz's reaction. Along with everything else going on, the stress was really starting to weigh my down. But I heard somewhere that stress is really bad for a baby, and so I tried to forget about everything all the time but that wasn't working.

Speaking of which, I know little to nothing about pregnancies and babies. I was absolutely clueless. But it was still early, I had time. I didn't even feel pregnant yet. It was hard to believe there was a little human growing inside of me.

I also knew little to nothing about sueing and court and stuff, and we were contacting the police _tomorrow._

I felt the panic rise inside of me. My heart started to beat faster and my palms felt sweaty. _Calm down Clare_, I told myself.

But I couldn't calm down. I tried to take is slow, relaxing breaths but I couldn't control my breathing. It felt like the air in the room was ten times thicker then it should be. My vision was started to become dotted and blurry. What was happening?

And then, everything went black.

...

I woke up with the sun blazing brightly on my face. I groggily reached for the extra pillow I always kept on the nightstand next to my bed to cover my eyes, but then I realized I was on the floor. Then my memory came flooding back. What had happened last night?

I was still in my clothes I wore yesterday, and my head felt heavy and I had a pounding headache. I pulled myself up off the floor and went into my bathroom and took a quick shower. Then I changed into comfy sweats and headed downstairs. It was Saturday, and we were contacting the police today.

I walked into the kitchen and was pretty shocked to see Eli and his parents sitting at the kitchen table along with my parents and _Darcy?_

"Darcy? Eli and...?" my voice trailed off as I looked from person to person. Darcy jumped up from the table and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a comforting hug.

"Mom and Dad called me yesterday afternoon about everything that was going on. I got on the first flight here and my plane got here at like 5:30 this morning." she explained.

"Oh my God, Darcy you didn't have to come all the way back for this!" I exclaimed.

"Clare, I want to be here to help you through this."

I smiled. "I've missed you Darce."

"Right back at you, baby Sis." she smiled at me.

I looked over at Eli and his parents.

"Um... hi." I said kind of awkwardly.

Eli sort of smiled, kind of weakly. His parents both gave me sympathetic smiles. I had never really met them officially before, so they both stuck out their hands to me.

I walked over and shook their hands.

"Nice to meet you, Clare." his dad said.

I nodded. "You too."

My mom slowly stood up from the table. "Clare, the police are gonna be here any second to ask you a bunch of questions, as well as our lawyer. Eli and his family thought they would come for support."

I felt my eyes grow watery with tears. I quickly blinked them back.

"So, this is really happening." I mumbled.

My mom came over and wrapped her arm around my shoulders and guided me over to a chair.

"It'll be alright, Clare." my dad said, reaching his arm out and squeezing my hand.

"Say that now, but you aren't the one going through all of this." I said calmly, crossing my arms on the table.

Just then, I heard a soft knock on the door. I could immediately feel my heartbeat quicken, and my palms started to sweat again. Just like last night, it slowly became harder to breathe. Darcy got up to answer the door.

Eli, who was sitting to my left, noticed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm... f-fine." I choked out as I tried to breathe.

I could sense everyone exchange worried looks as the door opened and I could hear Darcy talking to someone. The room was slowly starting to spin.

"I... I think I'm gonna... be sick!" I jumped up from the table and ran to the nearest bathroom, closing the door behind me.

I didn't really feel like I was gonna throw up, I felt incredibly dizzy and lightheaded. I laid on the floor, in the fetal position as I slowly calmed down. There was a light knock on the door.

"Clare?" Eli asked.

I didn't answer. I couldn't bring myself to talk.

"Um, I'm coming in." Eli said as he slowly turned the knob and walked inside.

I didn't look up as he crouched down beside me.

"What happened?"

"Is she okay?" I heard Darcy say from the threshold of the bathroom.

"I'm fine." I said slowly, sitting up.

Although, I really wasn't fine.

** Kind of a filler, sorry. Review por favor :)**


	13. Chapter 13

** I haven't updated in a really long time, sorry :(**

After some comforting, Eli and Darcy got me up and lead me back into the kitchen. A cop sat in one of the chairs. I gulped.

"Hi Clare. I'm Officer Donnely" the officer said, friendly as he stuck out his hand. I slowly shook it and sank down in the chair across from him. Eli and Darcy sat on either side of me. Both my and Eli's parents stood off to the side.

"I'm here to talk about what happened between you and Mark Fitzgerald. I am at an understanding that you and your family want to go to court over this?" he asked gently. Eli reached down and grabbed one of my hands under the table and Darcy did the same to the other.

"Yes. Yes I do." I said, even though I didn't.

"Alright. Can you tell me what happened then?"

I gulped. Eli squeezed my hand.

"I... I was walking home from school one day and I ran into Fitz... I mean Mark... and he threatened me and said if I didn't sleep with him that he would... he would hurt Eli." I said, letting go of Eli's hand to motion at him and then grabbing it again.

"Alright." Officer Donnely said. "What is your full name son?"

"Elijah Goldsworthy." he said, not even grimacing when he said Elijah. He absolutely despised his full name. But I guess that wasn't important right now.

The officer scribbled down something on his notepad. "Okay. What did Mark threaten you with?"

"A knife." I choked out. "He... he said he had a knife... and that he wasn't afraid to use it on Eli."

"What provoked him to threaten you like this?" Officer Donnely asked. I gulped and frantically looked at Eli. He stared at the table, but gave my hand a squeeze to signal that it was okay to say.

"Um, Eli and Mark... well Mark has been bullying Eli." I said. His parents let out quiet gasps.

"Eli, why didn't you tell us someone was bullying you?" his mom asked.

Eli scowled at his parents. "Because it wasn't that big of a deal. I've been bullied before mom."

"But... but it didn't have to go this far Eli!" his mom protested. "We could have contacted the school and-" Eli cut her off.

"Mom, I'm not a snitch." Eli practically growled.

His mom flinched at his tone. "I don't care you could have-" the officer cut her off.

"Ma'am, I realize you're upset at this but we need to keep this questioning going." Officer Donnely said.

His mom nodded and slid her hands into her jean's pockets.

"So, when did you have sex with Mark?" the officer asked. I winced.

"The same night. I went to his house." I said. I felt Eli stiffen next to me. I knew he hated hearing this just as much as I hated talking about it.

"What was the date of this?" the officer asked, sliding over a tiny calendar to me. I scanned through the dates. I was pretty positive it was the third Thursday of November.

"November 18th." I said. That was exactly two and a half months ago.

The officer cleared his throat. "That was quite awhile ago. You should have gone to a rape support clinic the night it happened or contacted the police right off the bat."

"I know." I said sadly.

"Now we don't have proof this is Mark's baby." the officer said, my eyes widened.

"B-but... can't you do DNA tests or something? I haven't had sex with anyone else, it has to be his!" I protested.

"Yes we can, but not until the baby is born. Which means we can't go to court until after the test." the officer said. I sighed in relief.

"Okay." I said.

The officer turned towards my parents. "I'll print out a copy of the information Clare has given me and then you should go hire a lawyer and have an actual deposition. Then once the baby is born, you can book your trial." He then turned back towards me. "My questioning is done now but obviously it was very brief. You need to prepare for a long deposition where you can provide lots of details. And if the DNA test comes back as Mark being the father, it's pretty much a shoe in that the judge will find Mark guilty. I wish you all the best of luck."

I forced myself to smile. "Thank you."

My parents walked the officer out. I stared at the table. Neither Eli or Darcy moved.

"My gosh." Darcy finally said, pulling me into a hug. I could hear Eli's parents and my parents talking. Eli still didn't move.

"Eli... are you okay?" I finally asked, turning towards him. He stared at the table, his fists clenched.

"I... I can't deal with this. Clare, I can't do this!" he said, standing up and knocking his chair over.

My eyes widened.

"Clare... I can't control myself... I have... I have to go kick that bastard's sorry ass..."  
"Eli!" his mom and dad yelled in unision.

"I CAN'T DO THIS! I CAN'T JUST SIT HERE AND ACT LIKE I CAN DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS. I CAN'T."

"Eli..." I said, my voice trailing off.

"I have to go." he finally said, running out the door. His parents stared, dumbfounded at the door.

"I... we're sorry. We should go now too. Best of luck to you Clare." his mom said, smiling sadly as she left.

I finally allowed myself to start crying.


	14. Chapter 14

** Okay, somewhere I said that this was only going to be a 13 chapter story. Obviously, it's going to be longer then that. I know exactly where I want to go with this story and I'm estimating it's going to be between 20 and 25 chapters. Then there will most likely be a sequel. Just wanted to clear that up. (:**

_ (Darcy's POV)_

"I have to go." Eli said quickly, jumping up from the table and rushing out the door. His parents said goodbye and left as well. I stared at Clare, dumbfounded over what just happened. She burst into tears and slouched over onto the table.

I rubbed her back sympathetically. I hated seeing her like this. No big sister wants to see her little sister cry. I suddenly got enraged over what Eli just did. How could he just be so selfish and run out of here like that? Doesn't he see that Clare's problems are three times bigger then his?

"I'll be right back." I said, standing up and rushing over to the door.

"Where are you going?" my mom asked. I ignored her and ran out the door.

Eli's parents were just pulling out of the driveway. Eli was walking by himself on the sidewalk. I ran after him.

"Hey, you!" I yelled. "Stop walking I need to talk to you!"

I ran in front of him and blocked his path. He clenched his fists and crossed his arms. He looked 10 miles past pissed off.

I inhaled sharply. "You need to grow a pair and man up."

He chuckled darkly and humorlessly. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." I said, placing my hands on my hips. "You're acting like a complete ass."

"Alright, I barely know you and I have better things to do then-" I cut him off.

"Oh, shut up!" I said, losing all patience. "You know my little sister Clare, uh you're girlfriend! She's the one who has better things to do then worry about you having some sort of breakdown!"

"You don't understand you don't know half the story." he said, trying to step around me but I blocked him.

"No, you don't understand! I know Clare. She may seem like she is holding it together pretty well for the most part but she's about to crack. She's strong but she isn't strong enough to handle this. So, what's done is done. You can't change what happened. The only thing you can do now is be there for her, got it? So stop running away from your problems, march back in there and comfort her, damnit!" I yelled, jabbing him in the chest with my finger.

"I just need to think for a minute! I realize Clare is about to crack! Do you think it's fun for me to see her like this? Do you think it's fun for me to know she's carrying _his_ child? Do you think it's easy knowing that all of this is my fucking fault?" Eli yelled back, shaking the entire time.

"I didn't say it was a piece of cake for you. I'm saying that yes this whole situation is about as crappy as it can get but the only thing you can do now is be there for her. If you're just gonna march out whenever the going gets too tough you might as well leave her alone and let someone else help her. You're going to lose her if you don't stop." I said.

He thought for a minute, staring at the ground.

"You're right." he finally said, defeated.

"I always am!" I exclaimed.

He turned around and started walking back towards our house. I walked beside him.

"There's something else you need to know." I said.

He sighed. "And what's that?"

"I will hurt you if you hurt her, got it? I'm not kidding. You seem like a good guy but if I ever have to have this kind of conversation with you again, you won't like how it ends!"

"Alright. I wouldn't dream of hurting her. I just can't control my anger sometimes."

"Well, you're going to have to."

_ (Eli's POV)_

Okay, Clare's sister is scary as hell...

But she has a good point. If this is how I feel all the time about all of this, I can only imagine how Clare feels.

We walked back inside the house. I could hear Clare crying from in the kitchen. My heart sank.

If there is anything I hate more then this whole situation, it's hearing Clare cry.

Darcy lead the way into the kitchen. I stood off to the side, by the stairs. Clare's mom was holding her and comforting her. _That should be me._

Clare looked up at me. Her light blue eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Her face was tearstained.

"Can we talk?" I asked quietly. Her mom gave me a warning look.

"Not sure I want to." Clare choked out, her voice thick with sobs.

"Please... I would like to apoligize." I said.

Clare looked at her mom who nodded. Clare slowly got up from the table and walked past me towards the stairs. I followed her up them and into her room. She closed the door behind me.

"Eli, I can't... I can't keep doing this if you're gonna... if you're gonna keep freaking out whenever things get too hard." Clare said softly, wiping her face on her sleeve.

I sighed. "I'm acting like a douche... I know. Clare, I swear that-" she cut me off.

"Eli, I need to take care of myself right now. I can't take care of you too." she said. I felt a huge pain in my chest.

"I know and you shouldn't have to-" she cut me off again.

"You've said that before. But you always do it again. I just can't do this right now Eli. I'm sorry. We need to break up." she said, her eyes shining with tears as she clutched her chest. I felt the color drain from my face.

"Clare, please just let me explain!" I protested.

She shook her head. "It's nothing I haven't heard before. We're just not right for each other Eli, especially not at this time."

I felt my throat close up. "Clare..."

"Please, just go." she said softly, turning around and walking over to her window and clutching the ledge. I stared at her, absolutely shocked.

I didn't say anything as I left the room, slowly walking down the stairs. I felt so hollow.

"How'd it go?" Darcy asked excitedly, waiting at the bottom of the stairs. When she saw Clare wasn't behind me, her face turned angry again.

"What did you do?" she screamed. Her mom told her to calm down.

I didn't reply as I left the house. I walked out onto the sidewalk.

And for the first time since Julia's death, I started to cry.

** A/N: Before you all come at me with pitchforks, let me just say that this is not the end for eclare, duh! This is just the beginning of a rough patch for them. Stick with me, I guarantee everything will work out for them.**


	15. Chapter 15

** Let me remind you, eclare is not over with in this story. It's the beginning of a rough patch. It seems like some people didn't read my authors note from last chapter, so I just wanted to clear that up.**

___(Clare's POV)_

Eli's expression turned cold and stern, but most of all, hurt. I couldn't stand to look at him anymore. This was breaking my heart just as much as it was breaking his. I turned around and gripped the ledge of my window.

"Please just go." I said softly. I could still feel him a couple of feet behind me, then he quietly exited my room and I could hear him walk down the stairs. I heard Darcy's voice and my mom's, and then I heard the front door slam.

I stared out the window. I saw him run towards the sidewalk. He stopped for a second, and then buried his face in his sleeve. He started walking slowly down the sidewalk. It was obvious he was crying.

A single tear landed on the ledge of my window. I knew it took a lot to make Eli cry, because I had never seen him cry before. It just made the whole situation a lot worse.

But this was for the best, and I would keep telling myself that. He can't deal with this, and I have to. He messed up, I didn't. I saved his ass is what I did.

All of a sudden, Darcy burst into my room without knocking.

"What the hell happened?" she cried, running over to me and pulling me into a tight hug. The tears were flowing freely now.

"Do I have to go beat him up?" Darcy cried. "What the hell! I was just talking to him like 10 minutes ago! Why on earth would he-" I cut her off.

"Darcy,_ I _dumped him." I said, pulling away and going to go lay down on my un-made bed. I burrowed under the sheets and clutched my pillow. Darcy came over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Why?" she asked.

I sighed. "I can't deal with him anymore."

"I understand. But he apoligized Clare." Darcy said. I clenched my fists. Why was she defending him?

"Sometimes an apology doesn't make everything okay." I snapped, sitting up. "He keeps screwing up and I'm sick and tired of it!"

Darcy held up her hands innocence. "I'm on your side, Clare. I always will be. I just think you should give it time and then talk to him again. It's obvious you love him a lot. You can't just give up on someone like that. That's what love is all about."

I thought about what she said for a moment and let it all sink in. "I guess you're right."

"I always am." she said quietly, smiling.

_ (Eli's POV)_

I didn't like crying. I hated it actually. I was goth for shit's sake, not some emotional, mentally unstable emo. Tears are a sign of weakness.

I rushed inside my house, breezing past my mom and dad and rushing upstairs. I ran into the bathroom and started the shower.

I took a long, boiling hot shower. I forced myself to stop crying. I had been dumped before. My girlfriend before Julia, Erin, dumped me for another dude. I thought I hadn't felt true pain before the night she dumped me. But this, this was much worse. I had never felt so hollow, sunken and completely pained like this since the night Julia died.

The familiar feeling of a broken heart brought back a lot of bad memories. Memories I had pushed into the back of my mind. Memories I hoped I would never have resurface. Memories that I knew would torture me.

_ "Eli." my mom said softly. "The hospital just called."_

_ "No." I said through clenched teeth, running my hands through my hair and pulling it._

_ My mom rubbed my back. "Eli, Julia didn't make-"_

_ "No. Do not say it."_

_ "Baby boy, I'm so sorry." she said softly._

_ I jumped up from the couch and ran to the door. My mom called after me but I ignored her. I was already flying out the door. I ran down the middle of the street, dodging the occasional cars that honked at me to get out of the way. I turned the corner and ran stopped dead in my tracks._

_ Down towards the end of the street I could see Julia's mangled bike laying on the wet pavement. I also could see a white pickup truck just a few feet from the bike. I ran towards it. There was a cop who walked around the car, taking pictures of the scene. I pushed in front of him and collapsed over the bike. The cop told me to remove myself from the crime scene, but I ignored him._

I tried to ignore the flashback, but I kept seeing the scenes from that night. The mangled bike. The truck. The wet street. I ran into my room and collapsed on my bed, pushing stuff off of it in the process. I tried to block out the memories, the pain, the anxiety but I couldn't. My thoughts were interupted by a loud knock on the door.

"Eli, open up." Adam called.

I groaned. "Go away Adam."

"No! I walked 3 miles to get to your house so open the damn door."

I chucked a pillow at the door. "It's open."

He stepped inside, tripping over the piles of stuff by the door. Adam knew that I didn't throw anything away and that my room was covered from floor to ceiling with stuff. He never seemed to care about it.

"Damn, you look like shit." Adam said, closing the door.

"Thanks." I muttered sarcastically, burying my head under my pillow.

"Geez, it's like noon. Get your lazy ass up." Adam said, chucking the pillow I chucked at the door back at me.

"Dude, I'm wide awake. Trust me." I said.

"Okay. So you've just been laying in bed for hours?" Adam asked.

"No." I said.

"Eli, give a guy a clue." Adam said, starting to lose patience.

"It's nothing." I said.

"It obviously isn't nothing."

"Fine. Clare and I broke up." I said.

Adam exhaled noisely. "That's intense. What happened?"

"I messed up." I said, forcing myself to sit up.

"So she dumped you?"

"Pretty much."

"Harsh buzz man. I'm sure she'll come around though. It's probably just the pregnancy getting to her-" I cut him off.

"It's way more then that."

"I'll talk to her about it on Monday. Maybe I can get her to come talk to you about it."

"I sure doubt that." I muttered.

...

Monday morning I drove up to school. I parked Morty in my usual spot and got out, feeling like utter crap. I looked at myself in the side mirror. My eyes had bruise-like bags underneath them, I was paler then usual and my hair was a mess. Yup, I definately look hot today.

I walked up to the front steps. No sign of Clare. That was good. I didn't want to see her. I didn't know how to face her.

But Fitz was sitting on the front steps with his pack of gorillas. I suddenly became enraged. If it wasn't for him, I would still have Clare. If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't be pregnant and on the verge of an emotional meltdown. Not only did he take my girl, he took the only thing that made me happy. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to tackle him right then and there.

But then again, Clare dumped me. I don't have to keep my promise anymore. I don't have to walk past him like "the bigger person." I don't have to do _anything_ anymore.

"Hey Fitz." I yelled as I walked up to him. He turned around and my fist connected with his jaw.

He is going to pay for what he did.

** A/N: This chapter was sort of a filler, sorry. I also have a little bit of writer's block, because I wasn't sure how to do this chapter. Please review, I promise the next chapter will be drama-filled and intense!**


	16. Chapter 16

** I have so much homework, none of which I have started because I'd rather be writing. Screw school :P**

_ (Eli's POV)_

"You really want to start this again emo-boy?" Fitz said angrily as he rubbed his jaw. "Fine. If you wanna get your ass kicked again, I'd be happy to make that happen."

He threw a punch at me, but I dodged his fist and grabbed it instead and threw his arm back at him and then kicked him in the shin. He tried to throw another punch at me but I grabbed his fist again and blocked it. I then kicked him in the balls, and he fell to the ground, withering in pain. I wasn't satisfied though, I was still shaking with anger. I started kicking him in the sides. His friends just stood there, like idiots.

I kept kicking him until Officer Turner came and tore me away from him. I was still trying to calm down as he dragged me up the stairs and towards Mr. Simpson's office. I looked back at Fitz, who was laying on the ground rolling in pain. His friends just stood around him, not sure what to do. They didn't even defend him, some friends. That just made me smile.

As I was being dragged through the door, I saw _her_ out of the corner of my eye. She was standing on the top stair, on the other side, glaring at me with her arms crossed.

_ (Clare's POV)_

I'm not gonna lie. It's not like I wanted to break up with Eli. But I need to do what's best for me right now. And my top priorities right now are the baby and my deposition, both of which brought me their own kind of anxiety. And it's obvious Eli isn't mature enough to handle all of this right now, so I'll handle everything on my own. Like I always have.

Darcy tried to talk to me into calling him all weekend, but I kept declining and finally snapped at her when she wouldn't stop. She then left me alone, and I haven't talked to her since.

But last night, I had another panic attack. Or at least I think that's what it was. It was the same kind of thing that happened Friday night, except I didn't faint this time. It all happened when I was researching pregnancies and baby stuff. I got overwhelmed, and freaked out.

I then woke up with morning sickness and spent my entire morning throwing up. It took a lot to be able to get dressed and come to school today.

Then I walk up to school and see Eli kicking Fitz. Of course he would go beat him up the second he broke up with me. Same old Eli.

...

After school, I walked out feeling like crap. Of course, I had been feeling like crap like weeks now, it was my new normal. So I guess I felt "normal."

I couldn't help but notice Morty wasn't in the usual spot. Eli probably got suspended. Good, serve's him right.

"Clare?" Adam said behind me. I jumped, startled.

"Sorry. Um, how've you been?" he asked, walking alongside me. He looked kind of uncomfortable.

"Fine." I said, sort of sarcastically. Adam smoothed his hair awkwardly.

"Dumb question, sorry. I just wanted to talk to you about... Eli."

I rolled my eyes. "What about him?"

"I just think... maybe you should give him another chance?" Adam asked.

"Why on earth would I do that?" I asked. But Darcy's voice kept ringing in my head. She did have a good point when she talked to me after Eli left Saturday morning. Gosh, what am I saying? After all Eli's done, and now this fighting Fitz ordeal, I was not gonna consider talking to him again for a long time.

"Because he really loves you. He's just messed up about everything." Adam said.

"And you think I'm not?" I chucked darkly.

Adam cleared his throat. "I didn't say that. I'm just saying it's not an easy time for either of you so you should help each other through it."

"Oh yeah, he was doing such a good job of helping." I muttered sarcastically." I'm sorry Adam I know you're concerened but this is just not your business."

"Uh, yeah it is. I don't wanna have to play a median between you two." Adam said.

"Then don't!" I snapped, quickly walking away from him.

_ (Eli's POV)_

I'm suspended. For a week. Awesome. I never saw how being suspended was a punishment. A week off of school? It's more like a prize.

After I left school, I decided not to go home. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in my house all alone and think about thinks I've been trying not to. So, I just drove around. I ended up in a really bad neighborhood. I saw a man dressed in really old, tattered jeans and a stained white t-shirt sitting outside an alley with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I had never smoked before, I was against it for the most part, but I honestly didn't give a fuck about anything anymore. I pulled Morty over right in front of him. He raised his eyebrows at me as I got out.

"Nice car, cracker." he said, breathing out smoke.

"Thanks." I said quickly, ignoring the comment. "Got any more cigs?"

He looked at me, and then burst out laughing.

"None that I'm not willing to give away." he said as he dropped his cigarette and rubbed it into the dirt with his foot.

"Fine. How much do you want?" I said, taking a $50 dollar bil out of my blazer pocket. He eyed the money suspiciously.

"You're willing to pay that much for a _cigarette_?" he asked. "You can get an entire carton for that price."

"Except I'm underage so do you want the money or not?" I asked.

He looked from the money to me and then dug into his pockets.

"You know what? You don't wanna get into cigs. You should try something better." he said, taking out a bag of white powder.

I raised my eyebrows. "What's that?"

"Heaven in a bag. I'll give you the entire bag for $50." he said, motioning towards the money again.

I thought for a moment. "Fine." I handed him the money and he handed me the bag.

"Nice doing business with you." he laughed. "If you need anymore, just hit me up. I hang around this area."

I sighed. "Sure."

I got back into Morty, dropping the bag under the seat and drove away.

** A/N: Short chapter, sorry. I thought this chapter was going to be more intense, but that'll probably be next chapter. Please review!**


	17. Chapter 17

** Geez, you guys all thought different things about Eli's "heaven in a bag." I read everyone's review and really took in everyone's opinion. I think I found a way to make people who liked the "druginess" and people who didn't, happy (:**

___(Clare's POV)_

When I got home, my mom was sitting in the kitchen. Which was odd considering she should be at work. I dropped my school tote by the door and approached her.

"Honey, what's wrong?" my mom asked, jumping up from the table.

I quickly wiped away the wetness on my cheeks away. I had been crying all the way home. After snapping at Adam, I felt bad. Plus, I think I was emotional from the pregnancy as well? I don't know, I'm not sure how anything is supposed to be.

"Nothing." I said quickly. "Why are you home?"

My mom sighed. "I just talked to a lawyer. He said you should start getting prepared for the deposition because they don't need the DNA proof to do that. And he said if you haven't already, you should go see a doctor who can confirm you are in fact, pregnant."

I cringed at the word pregnant. Hearing it out loud always struck something with me. Made this nightmare a little more real.

"I still don't understand why you're here. You could have talked to the lawyer at work." I said.

"Well, the only time I could get you in at the doctor's was this afternoon. I have to go back to work though, I'm only on a break right now. Is there anyway you can get a friend to take you?"

I stared at the floor. These days, I had no friends. Well, I had Alli, but she just changed schools a week ago and was probably busy. And then I had Adam. But I think I just ruined that, or at least for the time being.

"Um..." my voice trailed off. My mom sighed.

"Maybe I can get your father to take off of work and take you?"

I looked up. "That's okay. I think I can find someone who can take me."

"Alrighty." my mom said, grabbing her purse. "I'm leaving then. Best of luck honey. I'm sorry I can't be there."

She kissed me on the cheek and quickly left. I sighed and took my phone out of my purse, scrolling through the contacts for the right one.

_ (Eli's POV)_

Adam held the bag in his hand. He was staring at it weirdly.

"Why the hell would you buy this?" he finally said as he got up and tossed it in the garbage can. I quickly got up and retrieved it. Adam scowled at me.

"I don't know... I thought I wanted it but I don't. But this is $50 right here. I have to sell it back." I said, putting the bag under a pile of stuff in my room.

Adam rolled his eyes. "I don't know if the guy you bought that from is interested in buying it back. Plus, I bet you weren't in the best neighborhood when you bought that."

"Well... maybe I don't have to sell it back to _him_." I said, contemplating the thought.

Some un-identified object hit me in the back of the head and then fell on to the floor into a pile of stuff. I turned around and scowled at Adam.

"Dude, you're one of the smartest people I know. Stop acting so stupid. Not only are you acting stupid, you aren't yourself. At all."

I grimaced. "I made a mistake and I'm trying to fix it. How is that not me?"

"Um, maybe the fixing part? Dude, you hold grudges and leave problems as they are all the time."

I chucked something at him now, but he dodged it.

"Get out." I said.

"Geez, don't have an aneurysm, I'm just trying to help." Adam said, his voice squeaking in a girly way on the last word. I sighed.

"Well, maybe-" the sound of Adam's ringtone cut me off. I rolled my eyes and turned around.

"Hello?... Oh, is... is everything okay?..." I turned around. Adam suddenly had an anxious look on his face.

"No... No I'm not busy. Um... yeah, sure. I'll be there in like... 20 minutes." he hung up his phone. His face was guilty, that it gave it all away.

"Let me guess..." I said, my voice trailing off.

"I have to go." Adam said quickly, jumping up and heading towards the door.

"Where are you taking her?" I asked, stopping him in his tracks.

Adam turned around slowly, he looked like he was waiting for someone to slap him or something and was just waiting for the pain.

"She needs someone to take her to a doctor's appointment." Adam said softly.

I slammed my fist into the wall. Adam jumped.

"That should be me." I said under my breath, so low I was hoping Adam wouldn't here.

"I'm sorry." Adam said. "I have to go. Just don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

Adam left the room and I heard him bounding down the stairs.

I went to go find the bag.

_ (Clare's POV)_

"Thanks for coming Adam." I said softly, while we left the clinic. Adam had been pretty quiet the entire time. No doubt that this was pretty awkward, for both of us.

"No problem." he said.

So, I was in fact pregnant. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that I wasn't before I even got here. The nurse had been rude though, giving me weird sneers whenever she came in the exam room to assist the doctor. Of course, she probably thought I was a slut who mistakingly got knocked up. What a cliche. I don't blame her for being rude.

We walked onto the sidewalk. There was an awkward silence.

"How... how is everything?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"With me or with Eli?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow.

"With you, obviously!"

Adam sighed. "Same old, same old."

"How about with Fiona?" I asked, desperatly trying to make my voice sound casual but it sounded strained.

"Fine. She went to New York for the week." Adam said, shrugging.

"That's nice." I said, frowning because the conversation ended. Another awkward silence settled in.

"Hey Adam?" I finally asked.

"Yeah?"  
"Um, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier." I said.

"It's okay. I just hate being in the middle of you and Eli's little fight."

"It's a little more then a little fight." I said.

"So, you're actually done with him? For good?" Adam asked.

"I don't know yet. It's just not a little argument we had. I just need space." I said.

Adam stopped and turned towards me. I stopped walking and turned around.

"Eli's a mess." he finally blurted out.

I gulped. "Hasn't he always been his own sort of mess?"

"Well, yeah. But he's... I think he's in trouble."

I felt myself grow pale. "What kind of trouble?"  
Adam gulped. "I promised I wouldn't tell. It's just... I don't know what to do."

"Well, that's his problem." I said, turning on my heel and speeding up. Adam jogged after me.

"Clare, listen." Adam said, grabbing my arm. "I know you're mad at him and I know he messed up and I know you have your own sort of problems right now but maybe you two could just be friends for the time being? He needs you Clare."

My throat felt tight. I looked at the ground.

"It's only been a few days since we broke up. If he's already in a mess, then he needs more help then I could ever give him."

Adam sighed, signaling the conversation was over.

** A/N: Oh snap. Sort of a short chapter, and sorry I haven't updated all week.I was planning on writing more for this chapter, but I'm beyond tired. Please review!**


	18. Chapter 18

___(Eli's POV)_

A few minutes after Adam left, I was running out the door, literally. I was clutching the bag under my blazer. I hopped into Morty and threw the bag under the seat again. Then, I looked around for my phone, which I had left in Morty. I barely ever used my phone, except to talk to Adam or Clare. Well, used to talk to Clare.

I scrolled through the contacts. The only contacts in my phone other then those two were a bunch of jackass bums I used to be friends with at my old school. I hadn't talked to them in months, but I had to get rid of this bag. It wasn't even about the matter of getting the fifty dollars back, I just wanted this bag to be gone. And it's not like I can throw it out without my parents finding it.

I pressed the call button and waited. _Ring... ring... ring._

"My caller ID says it's Eli calling me but it's hard to believe that because I could have sworn Eli fell off the face of the earth." Kevin said. Kevin and I had been pretty good friends but he rolled with a bad crowd if you know what I'm saying. He was a pretty big druggie, and after I moved to Degrassi I shut him out of my life. I wanted a fresh start.

"Hey, dude." I said, trying to sound cheery but miserabley failed at it. Well, let's face it, I'm never cheery. "Um, how've you been?"

"Freaking fantastic." he said. I had just begun to notice how slurred his voice was. Of course, there was never a time when he wasn't stoned or drunk.

"Um, so, I was thinking, we should catch up or something. Any... parties tonight that you're going to?" I asked.

"Dude, I go to a party every night." he paused. "But what possessed you to suddenly want to hangout?"

"Just... just missed hanging out dude." I lied. "So, where's the party?"

"My house. Do you remember where it is or has it been too long?" he asked, his voice taking a bitter note towards the end.

"Yeah, I remember. I'll be there in like an hour."

"Yeah, yeah. Bring some booze or I'm not gonna let you in." He burst out laughing like it was the funniest joke ever said. I rolled my eyes as I searched around Morty for my fake ID.

"Will do." I hung up and pulled open the glove compartment, digging around for the ID. I found it and put it in my wallet and started the car.

...

I slammed the case of beer on to the counter. The cashier gave me a weird look.

"Do you have an ID?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yup." I said confidantly, pulling out my wallet and handing it to him, along with a twenty dollar bill.

"If I wouldn't know any better, I'd say this is a fake." the cashier said, holding up the ID into the dim light above him to get a better look.

I shrugged and pulled out a couple more twenties and slid them on the counter towards him. The cashier eyed them suspiciously.

"I have a right to call the cops." he said.

I pulled out the rest of the money in my wallet, handing it to him. He picked up the money and counted it.

"Fake ID and bribery?" the cashier asked.

I reached towards the case, ready to grab it and run but the cashier picked it up and handed it to me.

"It'll be our little secret." the cashier said.

I sighed in relief and walked towards the door. "Thanks man."

I got back into Morty and pulled out of the parking lot of the liquor store and headed down the street. It was conveinent that the liquor store was in the same area as Kevin's house.

I stopped in front of house and parked Morty. The walls of the car were vibrating from the heavy, loud bass coming from the house. His driveway was really long and packed with cars, as well as the street outside his house. I sighed and searched around for the bag. Someone at this party was bound to want it.

I grabbed the case of beer and the bag and headed up to the house. The front door was propped open, so I walked right in.

"Hey, it's Eli!" a dude named Evan yelled from the living room. I used to be friends with him too.

I walked into the living room. It was crowded with people. Everyone was either drinking, smoking something, dancing, making out with someone or passed out. I had been to these type of parties before, but I had always left because it wasn't my scene. I sighed loudly and dropped the case of beer on the coffee table. Evan grabbed a bottle of beer.

"So, whatcha doing here?" he asked, snapping the bottlecap off of the bottle and taking a big swig. "Just dropping off some beer for us?"

"Yup, I drove an hour just to make sure you all had enough to get wasted." I said sarcastically. Evan stared at me weirdly, probably thinking I was serious. Dumbass.

"Well, alright man. Take a seat." he said, patting the seat next to him. I sat down between him and some stoned girl. She offered me a joint but I declined.

"Eli!" Kevin yelled, walking into the room with some girl who was the very definition of white trash. "You actually showed. I thought you were just messing with me saying you wanted to come."

"Nope. Just can't get enough of these parties." I said, sarcastic of course.

"Neither can I man, neither can I." Kevin chuckled, grabbing a beer out of the case. Did no one here understand sarcasm?

The stoned girl who sat next to me got up and stumbled out of the room. Kevin took her seat and sat next to me. The girl who was with him sat on his lap. Kevin tried to "feel her up" but she shooed his hands away and giggled.

I sighed, not delaying what I came here to do any longer and took out the bag. Kevin's eyes went wide when he saw it.

"Dude, what is that?" he asked.

"I'm not sure." I said, chuckling nervously.

Kevin took the bag and opened it, sniffing it. He then closed it and smiled.

"Where in hell did you get a huge bag of crank?" he asked.

"A place. Anyone want to buy it?" I said quickly.

"You're actually willing to sell this?" Kevin asked in disbelief.

"Yup." I said.

"Well man, my little Eli turned into quite a little drugdealer." he said, laughing, his words a little slurred. "I'll buy it."

He took out his wallet and handed me a bill. I quickly tucked it into my pocket.

"Got any more items up for bid?" Kevin asked.

"Nope. All I got. Sorry." I sighed, but in relief, knowing the bag was finally not my problem anymore.

"Well if you get anymore, you know where to find me." Kevin said, taking a swig of beer and then throwing the empty bottle on the floor. He took another beer from the case then handed me one. I refused it.

"Come on man, you don't even drink?" Kevin asked.

I sighed. "Honestly, I only came here to get rid of the bag so I'm gonna get going."

Kevin laughed. "Come on, the party is just starting." he pushed the beer into my hands. I sighed and gave in, popping off the cap.

I took a swig, swallowing it without tasting it. Kevin and his girl got up and left the couch, stumbling into the bedroom that was just off the living room. A girl came over and sat down where Kevin just was. She was pretty, with auburn hair, blue eyes and pale skin I felt a pang in my chest, she looked so much like Clare.

"Hey." she said.

"Hey." I replied, finishing the beer. Evan pushed another one into my hands. I sighed and took the cap off of it.

"You didn't bring a date?" she asked.

"Nope."

"Me neither. Well, technically I did, but he left me to go makeout with some other girl."

"Oh, I... I'm sorry." I said.

"It's okay. I can't stand this party though. It's so not my scene."

"Me neither." I agreed.

"But, I'm kinda stuck here since that guy was my ride home." she said, chuckling nervously.

"Oh... well if you need a ride I can drive you." I said.

She giggled. "Thanks but no thanks. Stranger danger. I don't even know your name."

"Eli." I said.

"Oh, nice to meet you Eli. I'm Alexa."

I nodded, finishing the beer. Evan pushed another one into my hands. I tried to refuse it, but Evan wouldn't take it back. I sighed and took off the cap.

Alexa grabbed the bottle out of my hands, gulping down the entire thing in one swig. I stared at her in astonishment.

"Geez." I said, laughing.

"Everything's easier when you're not sober." Alexa said, giggling. "And as long as I'm stuck here, I might as well enjoy myself."  
She grabbed another beer and then grabbed one for me. I pulled off the cap and chugged it.

"So Eli, let's change your 'stranger' status." she said, giggling again.

_ (Adam's POV)_

After I walked Clare home, I tried calling Eli. I got his voicemail though, so I walked to his house. I was a little worried about him, especially since he still had that bag of only God-know's-what.

I knocked on his door. But his house was dark and it didn't look like anyone was home. I waited for a few minutes and then walked over to the garage. I peered in the window on the garage door like a creeper to see if Morty was there, which it wasn't. I sighed.

Eli better not be getting himself in trouble.

** A/N: The crap will hit the fan next chapter! **


	19. Chapter 19

__**I just realized I never made it clear about what happened to Darcy. Darcy went back to Africa after the weekend ended. Sorry about that.**

** And I changed this story's rating to M, because of all the drugs and language.**

** BTW, Eli's POV takes place on the same day that the last few chapters have taken place on, and Clare's takes place on the day after that.**

** Like I said, the crap will hit the fan this chapter!**

_ (Eli's POV)_

I burst out laughing even though no one said anything particularly funny. Soon enough, Evan, Alexa and a bunch of people I didn't know joined in and started laughing too. We were all _so _wasted. And everyone who wasn't wasted was stoned.

Someone offered me another joint but I refused. I smacked the joint with my hand and it fell onto the floor. Someone quickly went to pick it up, but when they tried to grab it they kept missing because they were so stoned. This made me laugh harder.

"I am so glad I came." I said, my voice so slurred I barely understood it.

"Me too!" Alexa exclaimed, her voice slurred as well. "I met you, my bestest friend in the whole, wide, fucking world."

"Damn right." I said, pausing for a minute to finish off another bottle.

"Hey, everybody!" I shouted. "Alexa and I are best friends!"

"We should get married!" Alexa yelled.

A bunch of people burst out in applause. Alexa accepted a joint from the same person who offered me one.

"Anyone have a lighter?" she asked. "I need to celebrate my engagement... with this joint. So who has... has a lighter?"

"Anyone have a lighter?" I shouted. "Clare needs one."

Alexa started laughing. "I'm not Clare, I'm freaking Alexa."

"Oh... oh yeah." I said, staring at Alexa. She looked so much like Clare and I was so wasted I forgot that she wasn't her. Alexa gave me a weird look.

"Well, I'm gonna go look for a lighter. Don't go anywhere."

Alexa stumbled off the couch and knocked over a lamp. I laughed as she went into the kitchen to find a lighter. She came back a few minutes later with a lighter and lit her joint. She offered me a puff, but I refused again.

"You... my friend, need to have some fun." she said, putting the joint in my face. I gagged from the smell.

Alexa laughed at this and then finished her joint, tossing it into an ash tray on the coffee table. She then grabbed my hand and pulled me up on my feet. I almost fell over as she stumbled to the middle of the room, pulling me along with her. She started dancing with me, crazily I might add. The music was so loud because we were standing in front of the stereo, that I started to develop a headache. But I didn't care.

Alexa started grinding on me. I held her hips and started nibbling on her ear. I could hear her giggle even over the obnoxiously loud music.

She was about Clare's height as well, so from the back there was almost no difference between her and Clare. So, I imagined she was Clare. And for the first time in days I felt happy.

"Do... do you wanna get outta here?" I whispered in her ear.

She turned around, smiling.

"Duhhh." she said, slurred.

She interlaced her fingers with mine and we walked out the door, heading towards Morty.

At the time, I was too drunk to realize how big of a mistake I was about to make.

_ (Clare's POV)_

"I... I don't know." I said, my voice sounded squeaky and timid. The lawyer raised his eyebrows.

So far, the deposition had been uneventful. I felt like I was unable to be mad, upset, even sad about anything anymore. I wasn't able to provide a good argument in my defense, I could barely answer any of the questions. My mom was the only other person here besides the lawyer, and I had never felt more alone before in my life.

Without Eli here, I don't know, I just don't feel right. He was the one who pushed me to tell the truth about everything, he told me that pressing charges would be the right thing. So if he's not here and I don't believe in this, I can't force myself to want to win this trial.

I'm not saying I've forgiven Eli, far from it actually. I'm still incredibly mad at him and I don't know if anything will change that. Some might say I'm crazy and what he did wasn't that bad, but it was to me. Because I had to experience what I did to keep him safe, I feel like he owes me. I know how un-heroic that is, but it's like he never made it up to me. I saved him by ruining my life, and all he did was make everything just a little bit harder.

"Ms. Edwards, should we do this another time? You don't seem... like you're in good enough condition." the lawyer said, taking off his glasses and putting them in his breast pocket.

"I'm fine." I snapped, through clenched teeth. "Let's just get this over with."

My mom patted my knee in a sympathetic way but I shrugged her hand away. These days, I had been shutting everything and everyone out. Even my parents.

"Alright, only a few more questions to go. Did Mark Fitzgerald make you have sex by force or did you let it happen?"

"I guess I let it happen... it wasn't rape." I said weakly.

"Did Mark Fitzgerald use any kind of weapon present at the time?"

"No... but he said he had a knife."

"Did you see the knife?"

"No."

The lawyer raised his eyebrows again in a way that made me feel stupid. I stood up.

"This is it. I don't care anymore, I'm done."

I grabbed my purse off the chair and rushed out of the office.

_ (Kevin's POV)_

The next morning, I woke up in bed next to some girl. I don't remember her at all. I was in my bed though, and I was naked. But this is how I woke up just about every morning.

I put my clothes back on and went out to the living room. There were a bunch of people passed out on the floor and on the couch. I accidently kicked someone as I walked past them, but they didn't stir.

The place was trashed, but it was trashed to begin with. I don't remember the party at all, but I bet it was worth it.

Then I remembered how I filmed the party, just in case something would happen because I knew I wouldn't remember it. I went over and shut off the camera that was on the mantle of the fireplace.

Then I went and hooked up the camera on to the computer and turned on the video. I fast forwarded really fast through the beginning, but then I saw something that made me stop. Was that really Eli Goldsworthy sitting on my couch, drinking a beer and joking around with some girl? I hadn't seen him in nearly a year. Why the hell had he been here?

I had to put this on Facebook. I uploaded it and then tagged Eli, Evan and anyone else who was in the video. I named it "Crazy Party" and then signed off my laptop.

** A/N: Kevin's POV and what he did was really important and will cause a lot of drama. I bet you can figure out what happens. Review please.**


	20. Chapter 20

** Okay, I've decided I'm just going to focus on this story from now on. That means, until I finish this story, I will not be updating my other stories. It's actually pretty difficult to update a bunch of different stories at the same time and this is just easier for me. I will finish the other stories when this over, I promise!**

___(Eli's POV)_

I groggily woke up, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. Then, the pain hit my head like a brick being thrown at it. I groaned and buried my head under the blanket, closing my eyes tightly.

"Morning." I heard a girl's voice say next to me. My eyes shut open and I quickly sat up, jumping back when I saw the unfamiliar girl. Why the hell was I in the back of Morty with her?

She giggled. "You might want to cover up." She handed me the blanket. I then realized I was bare naked. I felt my cheeks heat up as I wrapped the blanket around myself. Then I noticed that she was only wearing her bra and panties.

"Fun night last night. I only remember the parts worth remembering though." she said, winking as she pulled on a black dress.

"What... what the hell happened?" I said, in utter horror.

"You don't even remember me?" she laughed. "You must have been even more drunk then me."

"What happened?" I repeated through clenched teeth.

"I think you'll be able to figure that out." she said seductively, her eyes lowering to my _personal_area. I cleared my throat in a warning way and started to search around for my clothes.

"Come on, it was fun!" she said. I didn't respond as I found my pants and started pulling them on.

"Wow, seriously? You made _love_ to me last night and now you'll barely talk to me?"

"Get out!" I snapped. She flinched.

"Whatever. I can get just about any guy I want. And let's just say I lowered my standards for you." she said, climbing towards the back door.

"That's great for you." I said sarcastically, pulling on my shirt. She lowered her eyes as she kicked open the door.

"God, that's the last time I even attempt to do _anything_ with an emo guy. They are way too _bitchy_ for my tastes." she screeched, slamming the door behind her.

I rolled my eyes and climbed over the barrier that seperated the front seat and the back area. I started the car and gripped the steering wheel. Then the realization of what I did last night hit me.

_ (Clare's POV)_

I ran upstairs, ignoring my mom. After I stormed out of the lawyer's office, I waited outside for my mom to drive me home. I didn't talk the entire time, even though she tried to comfort me.

I slammed the door to my room, not because I was angry, but I was just desperate to put a barrier between me and the outside world. Then I flung my purse across the room and fell on to my bed.

A quiet _ding_ sounded from my laptop, signaling I got a Facebook IM. I groaned and pulled myself up and crawled across my bed, grabbing the laptop off my nightstand.

_ Adam Torres: How was the deposition?_

_ Clare Edwards: Fine. If you think that cutting it short, yelling at the lawyer, and running out is fine._

_ Adam Torres: Ouch, sorry. :( Anything I can do to help?_

_ Clare Edwards: no._

_ Clare Edwards: but thanks Adam._

I was about to sign off, when I noticed something in my News Feed that caught my eye.

_Eli Goldsworthy and (7) other people were tagged in a video. __**Crazy Party**_

What the...? I turned the volume up a little as I clicked on the video, it buffered for a bit and then started.

My jaw fell open as I watched. The video was like something out of a movie, it didn't seem real. Except that Eli was in fact in it.

Was he high? He was yelling something crazy and joking around with some slutty girl. What the heck was he doing at this party anyways? No one else in the video was familiar at all. What kind of trouble was he getting himself into?

_No!_ The realization hit me. When Adam implied that Eli was in trouble, he meant he was getting into drugs. Oh no, this is not happening.

_ Clare Edwards: IS THIS WHAT YOU MEANT WHEN YOU SAID ELI WAS IN TROUBLE?_

I pasted the link for the video in the chatbox. I gripped the laptop, growing angrier with every passing second.

_ Adam Torres: what the...? i haven't seen that video before... clare..._

_ Clare Edwards: that's not answering the question. did you know about this?_

_ Adam Torres: About the party specifically? no!_

_ Clare Edwards: But you knew about the drugs and you didn't tell me?_

_ Adam Torres: I'm sorry! I'm caught in the middle of this! Eli told me not to tell anyone!_

_ Clare Edwards: dang it adam! i got to go._

I threw my laptop on the bed and grabbed my purse and rushed out into the hallway and downstairs.

For the moment, the breakup didn't matter at all. I was going to stop Eli from getting into drugs.

_ (Eli's POV)_

_ Shit. Shit. Shit._ That's all I was thinking on the ride home. I can't believe I let that happen.

I parked Morty in my driveway and ran inside, running upstairs. I swallowed a couple of painkillers, because I had a massive headache from the hangover, and went in my room.

I shoved a bunch of stuff off my bed so I could lay on it. I was such a mess it wasn't even comical.

I tried to sleep, but my mind was too busy that I couldn't. I was _so_ screwed. I can't let anyone know about any of that. Not even Adam. I'm in deep shit as it is.

I punched the wall next to my bed in frustration.

...

After awhile, I had managed to drift off to sleep for a few hours. It was a restless sleep though, and I woke up feeling more drained then I had before I had fallen asleep. Then I realized the quiet bell off the doorbell had woken me. Whoever was at the door was really impatient, because they kept ringing the bell over and over. I groaned and pulled myself out of bed, not even bothering to cover up, as I was only wearing my boxers. I flung open my door and headed downstairs. My parents probably weren't home from work yet, otherwise they would have gotten the door.

"I'm coming!" I yelled, annoyed as I approached the front door. Nothing could have prepared me for the shock I was about to feel.

I flung open the door. Clare stood on the doorstep, soaked from the rain.

** A/N: DUN DUN DUN. Haha. The next chapter will be DOPE. Someone (too lazy too look through the reviews for their name) suggested I have more Fitz and Clare interaction, so I will try to include some of that in the next chapter as well. Review please!**


	21. Chapter 21

**In case you didn't read my author's note, I'm back! Things are starting to get better with my family, and my parents even bought me my own laptop! I'm not saying I will be updating frequently again, probably only once or twice a week now. I will be back full time by the holidays though. Thanks for all the support, you guys rock. (:**

**This chapter will have some Clare-Fitz interaction like someone requested. And don't worry; eclare is starting to patch things up!**

_(Eli's POV)_

I stumbled into the wall next to the door, completely caught off guard. My breath

caught in my throat as she breezed past me, and approached the stairs. She stopped

at the foot of the stairs, looking back at me, uncomfortably. It took me a moment

to be able to process what just happened. It had only been a few days, but God, I

missed her.

"What are you doing here?" I finally managed to ask. She crossed her arms.

"I'm here to stop you." she said softly, and started to make her way up the stairs.

_What is she doing?_ Then I started to panic as I realized she was heading

towards my room.

I rushed up the stairs after her, blocking her path. She tried to step around me but

I grabbed her shoulders to prevent that.

"Excuse me." she said through clenched teeth.

"Can I ask what you're doing?" I said, letting go off her shoulders.

"I saw your little Facebook video and I'm here to throw out your drugs. And I'm not

leaving until they're all gone." she said.

I scratched my head.

"Huh?" was all I was capable of saying.

"I'm serious. I'll search your entire room if I have to. You're not getting into

drugs Eli... I-I won't let you."

"What drugs?" I asked, and then the realization hit me. Adam must have tipped her off on the drugs I bought!

"Don't play games with-" I cut her off.

"What the hell did Adam tell you?" I yelled. She winced.

"Adam didn't tell me anything! I saw your Facebook video! If you're going to put

that stuff on the Internet then you better believe-" I cut her off again.

"What Facebook video?"

"Stop playing stupid!" she said, her voice rising.

"I didn't upload any video Clare..."

"You were tagged in one. You were high at some party, and you were hitting on some random girl. I saw it, Eli." she said, her jealousy evident.

I gulped. Someone at that party was stupid enough to upload a video?

"I wasn't high at that party Clare... I was drunk." I said.

"Don't lie." she said through clenched teeth.

"I'm not." I said, looking straight into her eyes. Though, I did hook-up with some

random hoe. But Clare doesn't need to know that right now...

"You swear to God?" she asked.

"Well, swearing to God wouldn't mean much coming from me... but I swear on my life." I said. She rolled her eyes.

"Okay." she said awkwardly, shifting her weight from leg to leg and crossing and

un-crossing her arms. "I guess I'll go then."

"Wait, so that's the only reason you came?" I asked, following her down the stairs,

relieved she didn't insist on going in my room.

"Yes, Eli. I wasn't going to let you get into drugs." she said, heading towards the

door but I grabbed her arm.

"But why would you care if I was into drugs or not? You dumped me, remember?" I

said, smirking.

"Yeah... well, I still didn't want you getting into drugs." she said.

"But if you really hated me like you've been claiming... you wouldn't care if I was

doing drugs."

"I n-never said I hated you." she stammered.

"Then... you like me?" I said, teasing her.

"I never said that either."

"Either you hate me or you like me Clare. There is no in-between."

"Says who?" Clare asked, biting her lip and staring at the floor.

"Says me. Admit it Clare, you still have feelings for me!"

"Fine!" she admitted. "But that doesn't mean I want you back."

I gulped. Damnit, I was so close to getting her back.

"Why not? I already apologized for being an ass." I said, quietly.

"Sometimes an apology doesn't make everything okay." she said, turning around and flinging open the front door. I ran after her and shut it.

"This is so stupid. We're both miserable, so why do you keep torturing the both of

us?" I said through clenched teeth.

"Stop putting words in my mouth. I never said I was miserable."

"Please Clare. I know what you're going through right now. You can't possibly claim

that all of that is making you _happy?_"

"It's keeping me busy." she said. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, busy, alright."

"Look, this is going no where. I should go now." she said, ducking under my arm and

running outside.

I watched her retreat into the rain; her small body became lost in the fog.

(Clare's POV)

I burst into tears as I ran down the sidewalk, forcing myself not to look back. Why

did he make everything so difficult for me? He knows I still have feelings for him,

I mean, it's only been a few days since we broke up! You can't just flick a switch

and fall out of love. Which is why this is so _difficult._

I want him back, so call me crazy for not jumping into his arms back there. But if

I've learned one thing from KC, it's to guard your heart because when it gets

broken, it takes a long, painful time to put back together. I mean, it took me the

entire summer to forget about KC. And he didn't even mean as much to me as Eli does.

I'm not taking chances anymore.

I ran into my house, kicking off my soaking wet shoes. One landed on the stairs and

one ricocheted off the banister and landed on the kitchen table. I didn't care. I

ran upstairs and slammed my door.

I will not hurt over Eli anymore.

...

I walked into school the next day, wearing a baggy sweatshirt and jeans. I was

starting to get a little baby bump, which terrified me. Up until this point, it

almost seemed un-true that I was pregnant. Well, besides the morning sickness and

weird cravings which reminded me as well. But, I could deal with those. What I

couldn't deal with? _Eli._

How is it possible to want to be with someone _and_ want to punch them until they

bleed?

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Fitz, who came up behind me and grabbed my arm roughly.

"You're pressing charges?" he growled, stepping closer to me. His presence always

brought back a wave of unwelcome memories. I stared at the ground and tried to shrug

his arm off, but his grip was too strong.

"Fitz... please." I said, my voice sounding more desperate then I intended it to

be.

"I thought we had a deal!" Fitz yelled, sounding hurt and mad.

"It wasn't my idea, alright?" I said, softly.

"Then whose bright idea was it? That Emo-boy?"

"No... it was my parents." I lied. "I can't hide a pregnancy from them Fitz."

Fitz softened his grip, but didn't let go.

"Don't you have a choice though? Can't you just tell them you don't want to?"

"No." I said.

"Clare... I... I'm sorry about what I did to you." he said, rubbing the back of his head with his other hand.

"Don't you think it's too late for apologies?" I asked, finally able to shrug off

his hand.

"I... I only did that because I felt like I was losing you."

"Losing me?" I asked confused, starting to walk away but he followed me.

"You were getting into deep with Emo-boy." he said. "It was getting too late for me

to try to... make you mine."

"Make me yours?" I asked. "Fitz... I don't like you!"

He winced, which was very unlike him. "You don't know me well enough yet."

"Oh yeah?" I said, my anger rising. "I know you well enough to know you'll threaten

and blackmail people, screw up their lives and put them in hell. I will never like

you Fitz! You're a monster!"

He dropped his gaze to the ground in defeat.

**a/n: don't worry, I won't turn this into a Flare story, it's 100% eclare. But Fitz will have a bigger part in it. Please review!**


	22. Chapter 22

_(Eli's POV)_

"And then she was all like 'I still have feelings for you but I don't want you back.'" I said, my voice slurred. I took another swig of liquor from the bottle. It burned down my throat and I could barely swallow it, but I was beginning to get too drunk to care.

"Woah, I think you've had enough." Adam said, grabbing the bottle out of my hands. I tried to grab it back but he put the cap on it and slid it underneath him and then sat on it. I rolled my eyes.

"And then she just storms out like... like... she doesn't even _care_!" I said, my voice rising. Adam crossed his arms.

"You two need to get back together already. You're both a mess."

"She doesn't _fucking_ want to! She dumped _me_, remember?" I said, falling over on to my side on the couch.

"She's just... confused. I think she wants you back she's just... afraid." Adam said.

"Of what!" I barked.

"Of getting hurt again. You have to show her you aren't going to do anything like that again. You have to do... something _big_." Adam said.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. I don't have all the answers! But I'm sick of being caught in the middle of us so you better fix this quickly."

"I got the perfect idea to win her back!" I said, flying up off the couch and falling over on to the ground. I didn't realize how dizzy I was.

Adam sighed. "Maybe you better wait until you're sober."

He pulled me back on to the couch. I immediately passed out.

_(Clare's POV)_

After school, I had to finish the rest of my deposition. It wasn't easy, but Alli came along this time. And since I only had a few questions left, it didn't take too long.

"So, you and Eli really broke up?" Alli asked as we walked outside the lawyer's office. My mom walked several feet in front of us, pretending like she couldn't hear us.

I nodded. "I actually dumped _him_."

Alli swatted me with the back of her hand.

"Why? You two were so adorable together!"

I rolled my eyes. "It... it just wasn't going to work out."

"Details please?"

I sighed.

"He... he just couldn't handle the whole _situation_." I said, making air quotes around _"situation."_

She hugged me. "Well, screw him then. You'll find someone else who can handle it."

"I doubt that." I muttered.

My mom stopped in front of her parked car and turned around and faced us.

"Do you girls want to walk home? I mean, it sounds like you want to talk." my mom said kindly.

"Yeah, we'll walk. See you later." I replied as my mom unlocked her car. Alli and I exited the parking lot and walked onto the sidewalk.

"_Ohmigod!_" Alli screeched, stopping abruptly and smacking herself in the forehead. I raised my eyebrows.

"What?" I asked, confused.

Alli giggled. "I'm so stupid. How could I forget? I met this guy the other day at my friend Kelsey's party. She goes to my new school. Anyways, he told me he was single and all but he was totally not my type. If anything, he's totally _your_ type! I could get his number for you!"

I sighed. "Alli, that's nice of you and all, but I'm not like you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... first of all, not many guys like me and I doubt this guy would have any interest in me. Second of all, I'm pregnant!" I said, gesturing to my stomach. "What guy wants to get involved with a girl like _me_? Third of all, I'm definately not ready to start seeing other people. I can't fly from guy to guy like you."

Alli turned towards me and raised her eyebrows and gave me that _'what-did-you-just-say?'_ face.

I sighed. "Alli, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

Alli started walking ahead of me. "Forgiven. But if you are ever ready to move on, you know where to find me!"

Would I ever be able to move on?

...

The days went by sort of quickly. Before I knew it, I was already halfway through my second trimester. I was about 4 and a half months into my pregnancy, and the baby bump was getting harder and harder to hide. People were starting to take notice, and there were a ton of rumors at school. School was starting to get less and less bearable.

I ran into Eli a lot. We had gotten to the point where we would say hello to each other, but that was it. It was impossible to avoid him all-together, nor did I want to.

However much I want to believe I don't want to be with him, it's getting harder and harder to convince myself of that. It's easy for someone to walk right into your life, but it's harder to let someone walk out. It leaves a big hole in your daily life. I feel empty and hollow.

Adam and I talked less and less. He was friends with Eli first, so I guess it was kind of awkward to try to be friends with both of us. I don't necessarily blame him, but it doesn't help the whole "hollow" feeling.

I guess I really am going through this alone. After that argument I had with Fitz a month or so ago, we hadn't talked. I would catch him staring at me in the hallway and stuff on occasion, but he would always quickly look away. I knew he was beyond upset that I was pressing charges, but it's what he deserves. But as the trial and the baby's due date are slowly getting closer and closer, I keep feeling more and more anxiety.

_(Eli's POV)_

"Dude, this song is killer. Is this off the new Dead Hand album?" Adam asked, banging his head to the loud music.

"Yeah." I replied emotionlessly.

Adam sighed. "This is off topic, but I thought you were going to do something big to get Clare back?"

"I was?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah. You were drunk like a month ago, remember? Well, maybe you don't but you said you wanted to win her back."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, it's hopeless. She hates me and that's that."

"I doubt she hates you." Adam said. "And I bet she could really use someone right now."

"Will you stop trying to force us back together? It's _not_ going to happen!"

"I didn't mean she needed someone like _that_. You two were friends before you were... you know. I bet she could use a friend."

I sighed, knowing he was right. I do miss Clare, and when I see how miserable she looks at school, I feel miserable too.

"I'll talk to her in English tomorrow, but no guarantees."

Adam clapped me on the back. "Good."

**A/N: Such a filler, sorry. The next chapter will be the one you've all been waiting for! There are about 5 or 6 more chapters in this story. Then I will work on my other stories and finish those up, and then write the sequel to this story. Please review!**


	23. Chapter 23

** Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I've had a ton of boy drama lately. :/ Anyways, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for! This is the second last chapter. After I finish this story, I will work on my other stories for awhile, and then the sequel for this one will be out at the end of January.**

** And this chapter will be pretty long. I've also had writer's block, but I finally got an idea. I redid this chapter like three times trying to get it to be just right.**

**AdamEliFan- Thank you for the amazing ideas. The only reason this chapter is up right now is because of your ideas! Thank you soooo much!**

_(Eli's POV)_

"So, work with your partner and I'd like you both to come up with a short essay on the hardest moment in your life. Your partner should proofread and help you perfect your writing. Right now, I'd like you to discuss ideas with them." Ms. Dawes said, handing out paper. I sighed and wrote my name on the paper and turned around to Clare.

"So… we're supposed to discuss ideas." I said lamely.

"I heard." she said sarcastically, staring at her paper.

I cleared my throat, sort of awkwardly. "So…um got any ideas?"

She looked at me in disbelief. "Hardest moment in my life? I'm living it _right_ now."

I looked at the floor. "Right."

She sighed. "What about you? Got any ideas?"

"I have two ideas, but I don't know which one to choose." I said. Immediately regretting the words once they were said.

"And those are?"

"Um… never mind I know what I'm going to write about. Thanks for the help."

"No, you said you had two ideas maybe I can help you decide which one is better to write about." she said, softening and sounding nicer. I don't know what the cause was for the major mood swing, maybe the pregnancy?

"Um… well…" my voice trailed off. This was a first. I was at a loss for words.

"Out with it." she said, growing stern again.

"Um, the two hardest moments in my life were… losing Julia… and losing you." I said, my cheeks flushing red. A feeling I wasn't familiar with. I finally looked up at Clare, and she was just as red as I was.

There was an awkward silence. After a bit, she started shuffling through her English folder.

"I guess I can't help you then." she said softly, not looking at me.

I sighed, turning back around and staring at my blank paper.

Honestly, I had no clue which event had been harder for me.

_(Clare's POV)_

Eli turned around. I felt my cheeks flaming. I knew he still had feelings for me, but I didn't know they were _that_ intense.

I tried to forget about what he just said and focus on planning out my assignment, but that was impossible.

…

The next day, I walked into English. Ms. Dawes told us to exchange our papers with our partners and edit each other's writing.

"Um, I think mine's okay I don't need you to edit." Eli said quickly, turning back around.

I raised my eyebrows, but in a way I was relieved. My essay was really personal, and since only Ms. Dawes would be reading it, I didn't censor any of my feelings. That's why I didn't really want Eli to read it.

The rest of the class was busy editing essays, so I didn't have anything to do. I found myself staring at the back of Eli's head like a total creeper. I forced myself to stop staring at him and see if I could correct anything in my essay.

Halfway through class, everyone was just about done editing and Ms. Dawes stood up from her desk.

"Alright class, I decided that these would be good essays to share amongst your peers instead of just me and your partner. Would any partnership like to volunteer to read their work?" she asked. I felt the blood drain from my face.

To my absolute horror, Eli raised his hand.

"Eli… don't, I don't want to read mine!" I hissed softly.

He turned around, shooting me a smirk of course.

"Ms. Dawes, Clare and I _really_ want to read ours." Eli said obnoxiously.

This reminded me about how at the beginning of the school year he was always pushing me outside my comfort zone. He made me scream at the top of my lungs in public for no reason, and write a somewhat risky and personal essay for class. Those seemed like nothing compared to this. I couldn't read _this_ out loud!

Ms. Dawes smiled at Eli and I. "Fantastic. Which one of you would like to read first?"

"Clare does." Eli said quickly. I kicked the back of his chair.

"Ms. Dawes… I _can't_ read this to the class!" I said.

Ms. Dawes only smiled at me. "Non-sense. You're perfectly capable of reading out loud. So come on up Clare."

I gulped. "I… I just mean that it's… it's just too personal."

"That's alright. We're all friends here. So come on up, don't be shy."

Eli turned around, smirking out of amusement. I gave him a death look and slowly stood up and walked to the front, clutching my paper.

I stood in front of Ms. Dawes desk. My throat was so tight, I felt like I couldn't talk.

"Come on Clare. We're all waiting." Ms Dawes said, smiling.

"A-alright… this is… this is titled 'Blessing.'" I said, my voice shaking. I looked at Eli. His smirk quickly faded into a blank face.

"Um, five months ago I felt what it's like to be truly t-terrified." I read. "I… found out that I was… pregnant."

The class erupted with quiet gasps. I felt my cheeks flush. People had somewhat of an idea I was pregnant already, as there were a ton of rumors, but I never confirmed or denied the rumors. This left everyone to assume what they wanted.

I quickly glanced at Eli. His blank face had melted into a warm smile, which was rare for him. He motioned for me to go on. I then glanced over at Ms. Dawes. Her lips were pursed in a tight line, and her expression was blank.

"I'm the classic Christian goody goody stereotype apparently. These types of things aren't supposed to happen to people like me." I read, my voice taking on a new edge of confidence because I could sense Eli still smiling at me. "But it wasn't exactly my choice to be pregnant."

There was another quiet gasp for the class. I looked up. Everyone was exchanging looks. I bit my lip.

"I'm not going to name names, but it's an odd feeling to be carrying someone's child when you barely know their last name. And at first, I used to hate the fact that this alien baby was taking over my life. I used to hate the person who did this to me. It took me several long, difficult months to accept these things. During these months, I pushed people out of my life. People I really care about." I paused, glancing at Eli again. He met my eyes for a second, then stared at his hands.

"The truth is, this isn't just hard on me. I'm not the only one dealing with this. My family, my friends… everyone else I know has to deal with it too. And I wish I could apologize to _him_, I mean _them_." I said, my cheeks growing warm.

"This is the most difficult part of my life, but it is also the most rewarding. In four months, I will give life to someone. There is no feeling in the world that can compare to that. The 'alien' baby, is actually a little boy or girl. Regardless of who his or her father is, he or she deserves life and a mother. I wouldn't give up this baby for the world now. I love him or her, even though I've never met them. Raising him or her will definitately, will be the challenge of a lifetime, but I'm up for it. And I hope I can make up for lost time with the people I pushed away." I paused. "Thank you."

The entire class was silent that you could hear a pin drop. I slowly made my way back to my desk, all eyes on me. But I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed or self-conscious. I felt _relieved. _This had been a blessing in disguise. I had been terrified at first, but now that everyone knew, there were no more secrets. And everyone knew the truth, including Eli.

Eli stayed facing the front, not making eye contact with me as I passed. I didn't know what to think of this as I slid in my seat.

"Well, urm, thank you Clare." Ms. Dawes said, obviously a bit uncomfortable. "Eli… would you like to read your piece now?"

Eli slowly rose out of his seat, making his way to the front.

He cleared his throat. "My essay is titled 'Mistakes'"

I glanced at Adam, who was staring right at me, smiling.

"What?" I whispered.

Adam just shook his head, still smiling.

"Okay?" I said, turning back towards the front. Eli was staring directly at me, smirking.

"Eli, you can read now." Ms. Dawes said, motioning for him to go.

He cleared his throat. "Just making sure I have everyone's attention."

I raised my eyebrows. He paused and then started reading.

"I used to drown myself in self-pity. I thought the whole world was out to get me and that I would never be truly happy. Then, I met a girl, however cliché that is, she made everything better. But, she was taken away from me, taken away from everyone who loved her. Once again, I assumed the world was out to get me. It had taken my one bit of happiness. I thought this event had been the hardest time in my life. I started hoarding, especially keeping things associated with her, because I thought they were all I had left of her. Then I moved to a different school. My parents thought it would help get over her passing, and in a strange way it did. Because I met another girl."

I swallowed hard and stared at my desk.

"At first, I thought that being with her was cheating on Julia. I felt ashamed that I wanted her. It took me awhile to be able to accept the fact that Julia was never going to come back, and I was going to have to move on. Once I did all the sorrow and depression I had seemed to melt away. I had finally moved on. I'm not saying I forgot about Julia, because she will always be special to me. But I was happy again. I just didn't realize how short that happiness would last."

I slowly looked up at him, feeling my cheeks flushed.

"She had something happened to her that was my fault. Something huge, that would severely impact her life. I felt so guilty I couldn't deal. I blamed anyone but myself. I started taking it out on her. And she dumped me, which I don't blame her for. This was the hardest event in my life, not anything else, because my happiness had been taken away because of _my_ utter stupidity, not a random accident like before. The guilt was, and still is, unbearable. I made so many mistakes that I can't begin to fathom what this did to her. I would just like to say I'm sorry."

I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. Everyone in the class kept looking from Eli to me, knowing he was talking about me. I finally looked up at Eli. His eyes were shiny with tears. I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away.

He lowered his paper and looked directly at me.

"I'm sorry Clare. I just hope one day you'll forgive me because I miss you way too much." He said, barely more then a whisper.

The class erupted in "Aww"s. Eli dropped his paper on Ms. Dawes desk. I looked to Adam, who was smiling at me. I didn't know what to do, what to think, I was totally caught off guard. I quickly rose from my seat, grabbing my tote, and ran out the door.

I ran down the hallway. Mr. Simpson who was walking down the hallway talking to someone in a casual suit, yelled after me to go back to class but I kept running. I ran out the front door, bounded down the front steps and collapsed in a heap on a bench.

I was still in love with Eli; my essay pretty much conveyed that. I had admitted it to myself, to him. But actually hearing Eli admit his feelings back, and how sorry he was, was just too _intense_. Especially in such a public situation like that.

I stayed on the bench until the bell rang, signaling school had ended. People rushed out of the school like there was a fire in there or something. Ten minutes later, there were only a few people left lingering on the stairs.

"Hey." Eli said, standing off to the side of the bench, one hand clutching his backpack strap and the other in his pocket. "Can we talk?"

I slowly nodded. He sat down next to me on the bench and dropped his backpack between his feet.

"Okay, I think there is a severe lack of communication here." he began. "But this is dumb that we walk around like we barely know each other, Clare."

I nodded again. "I… I." I paused. "I miss you."

He chuckled. "I think you made that pretty clear Clare. And the feelings are mutual… but why did you run out like I had the plague?"

"I… I don't know. It was just too much to take in."

He nodded, looking at the ground. "So…"

"Okay, this is so stupid." I said, turning towards him. "You know why I dumped you, but I overreacted. If anything, we should have just gone on a break for awhile while I figured things out, not completely broken up. And for awhile, I wanted to believe I did the right thing but I was _wrong_, Eli. And when I went to your house that one day… I don't know, I freaked out. I was confused, I didn't know what to think. But that's when I realized I don't want to be without you! And… I decided we're both idiots in our own special way. And-" he cut me off.

"You're babbling Clare." he said, half smirking, half smiling.

My mouth fell open a bit as I gave him my "shut up" look. He laughed.

"I'm sorry." he finally said, growing serious again.

"The feelings are mutual." I said, repeating the phrase he used before.

And then, he cupped my face and kissed me.

** A/N: There we go! Are you happy? Because I am! I hate writing chapters where they're apart, it isn't fun. ): Review?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Here we are! The last chapter! Wow, I'm actually really proud of this story. It will be the only story I've actually completed where I liked how it turned out. I finished a fan fiction story before (Complicated Affection) but I lost interest in that story and the ending turned out horrible.**

** Sorry it took me so long to update. You know how it is with the holidays… anyways, now it's winter break! I hope to get very far in ALL my stories, which will be my gift to you guys!**

** This will end with a major cliffy, I'm sorry. ): It's just how I always planned for the story to end once I decided I would make a sequel. Remember the sequel will be coming out end of January so don't hate me because of the ending.**

** Here we go!**

_(Eli's POV)_

Clare, Adam and I stood in front of the ruins of the old church. What used to be a pile of rubble was now a party pad. Twinkly lights hung from the tops of the tall columns; there were rented DJ turntables on one side of it, and a table with food on the other. The middle was cleared for dancing space and just off in the woods I had hung an old yellow hammock.

Clare sighed contently. I wrapped an arm around her waist and smiled at her. Just last week we had gotten back together, and I had never been happier. The depression I had been wallowing in during the time we had been apart had instantly vanished, and I had a hard time keeping a smile off my face.

"How long until the party starts?" she asked, intertwining her fingers with mine. I squeezed her hand lightly.

"Like a half hour." I answered, leaning down and kissing her on the cheek. Adam rolled his eyes.

"You guys have been so gross since you've gotten back together. Its nauseating." he said and then faked a gag and cupped a hand over his mouth like he was gonna barf. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't make me pound you dude. It's only a matter of time before you and Fiona are acting like this, only worse." I said, smirking.

At the mention of Fiona's name Adam's eyes lit up. This entire party had been thrown for her.

"I only hope." he whispered, turning back around and organizing the food on the table. He was obviously nervous; whenever he got nervous he fidgeted.

Clare giggled. "Fiona doesn't know what she's in for."

Adam laughed nervously. I raised an eyebrow.

"Chill, dude, it'll be okay. What's the worst that can happen?" I asked.

Adam ran his hands through his hair. "She doesn't show up, I get too nervous that I can't speak, The DJ stuff spontaneously combusts and burns us all alive."

"I got the fire department on speed dial. It'll be fine." I said, chuckling.

Clare giggled. "Well, I better go home and change quickly. I'll be back in time for the party. Don't have a panic attack Adam."

He sighed. "I'll try not to."

She kissed me quickly and then grabbed her school tote off the ground. We were all still wearing our uniforms, as we all came to set up right after school.

Adam grabbed his phone and called Fiona to make sure she was still coming. She never answered, which Adam didn't take as a good sign.

"She's probably just busy getting ready. Chill, dude." I said.

Adam inhaled sharply.

_(Clare's POV)_

I bounded up the stairs. I ran into my room and immediately started stripping my clothes off. I didn't want to spend that much time getting ready, so I quickly threw on the white dress and heels I had laid out. It had taken my ages to find a dress that was big enough to accommodate my stomach, since the maternity section at the local department store didn't have that big of a variety. It was cute though, with a flowy feeling to it.

I slapped on some white eye shadow, blush and lip gloss. Not much makeup, but more then I usually wore. I then sprayed some of my favorite perfume on my neck and wrists, switched my stuff in a more dressy purse and left.

The party site wasn't too far from my house so it should only take me ten minutes to get there. As I was about halfway back, I started to hear weird noises. Like someone rustling through the underbrush in the woods I was traveling through. I quickly picked up my pace, telling myself it was just an animal. But my arms quickly became covered in gooseflesh, and the temperature seemed to drop like twenty degrees. I quickly regretted not wearing a coat.

I was almost to the party; I could even see the twinkly lights off in the distance. I sighed in relief.

But all of a sudden, something snagged my arm, locking it in a stone hard grip. I snapped my head around.

I was suddenly face to face with Fitz.

_(Eli's POV)_

"Do I need to get you an inhaler? You sound like your having an asthma attack." I said, chuckling at Adam.

He let out a nervous breath. "More like a panic attack."

"Come on dude, you never get nervous. She's just a girl, you'll be fine."

"She's not _just_ a girl." Adam said angrily.

I sighed. "Okay, okay."

Adam pulled out his phone to check for missed calls, again. The party had been in full swing for over twenty minutes and he was probably getting frantic about when Fiona was gonna show up.

"She'll be here in a minute with some kind of big entrance." Adam said. Trying like he was trying to convince himself more then he was me.

"Sure." I agreed. Then that reminded me that Clare left over fifty minutes ago to get dressed. I doubt she was still getting ready; Clare wasn't one of _those_ girls.

"Hey, I forgot my phone." I told Adam. "Can I borrow yours quick to call Clare?"

Adam sighed. "Fine."

He passed his phone to me. I went to his contacts and found Clare's name and then pressed Send Call.

It immediately went to her voice mail, meaning her phone was off. I let out a frustrated groan and handed him his phone back.

"Where's Clare?" Adam asked me.

"Don't know." I said, sort of worried.

"She probably saw a kitten stuck in a tree on the way here and had to call the fire department and make sure it would be okay." Adam said.

"Ha-ha." I said sarcastically. But my voice had a subtle hysterical edge to it. Adam raised his eyebrows.

"Now you're the one that needs to chill." Adam said.

I sighed. "I'm gonna go to her house and see if everything's okay."

"Can't be apart from her for more then thirty minutes without freaking out?"

"No, dude. But it's not like her to be late. For _anything_."

"Fine fine. Go." Adam said, motioning for me to leave. I took off towards the wood, which was the route Clare had taken to go home.

The woods were dense with trees and very dark. Why would Clare go through the woods instead of going out onto the road and taking the sidewalk? These woods even scared _me_, and I'm supposively "obsessed with death."

I had gotten about a quarter mile into them when suddenly I heard police car sirens off in the distance, and they sounded like they were headed towards the party area. Oh god, why had I forgotten my phone on today of all days? Then I remembered the reason why I was in the woods in the first place. _Clare. _What if something happened to her and that's why the cops were coming?

Oh god. I felt bile coming up my throat as I took off into a full-out _sprint_.

"Clare!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

I froze in my tracks when a bright beam of light shined into my eyes.

_(Clare's POV)_

"Fitz!" I whispered in surprise and terror. Even though it was practically pitch black I could see his dark brown eyes. They were filled with rage. I recoiled from him in absolute _fear._

"Clare." he said breathlessly. "I was hoping I'd find you here."

"H-how'd you know I'd be h-here?" I choked out.

I could feel him shrug. "Lucky guess."

"W-what do you want?"

"Just to talk." he said simply. Then he realized I was shaking and let go off my arm. "Sorry. I didn't scare you did I?"

I guess I had misinterpreted his anger. "Just a little!"

"Sorry." he apologized. "It's just I'm not supposed to talk to you because of the legal crap. So I had to go out of my way to find you."

"Oh…" I said, my voice trailing off. "I'm sorry."  
"You didn't want to press charges right?" he asked, sounding hopeful. "Your parents and Emo-Boy made you right?"

"Y-yeah." I confessed. "I believe you were just… confused and hurt at the time."

"So, you forgive me?" he asked, his eyes shining brightly in the moonlight.

"Uh…sure." I said.

I could barely make out his smile. I didn't believe was as horrible as everyone thought he was, and that was the truth. I just think he's had it rough. And he has taken responsibility for his actions.

"I… should go." I said. "I'm late for a… party."

"I know." Fitz said.

I tried to step around him but he grabbed my arm again.

"W-what?" I asked, in surprise.

He sighed. "Clare, sit down."

He led me over to a large boulder and we both sat down on it.

"What is it?" I asked.

He was silent for a few moments. "I know I've said it before… that I like you, a lot."

I nodded. "I know."

"But… I'm in _love_ with you Clare. I've never met a girl like you. A girl who'll go out of their way to make anyone else happy. I want to change for you. I'm not as bad as you think."

I let out a shaky breath. "Fitz…"

"I know you don't feel the same… I just had to tell you."

"I'm flattered Fitz-" he cut me off.

"So… you don't think I'm crazy?" he said excitedly.

"No…" I stood up. "I really need to go. I'm sorry."

He sighed. "It still sounds like you hate me."  
"I don't. I swear." I said.

"Then can I at least walk you to the party? I know I'm not exactly invited I just want to make sure you get there safely."

I smiled. "Thanks. That'd be nice."

We walked side by side for awhile, in silence. He reached down and grabbed my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine. I stiffened.

"How's… how's the baby? And you, of course."

"We're good." I said, trying to pry his hand off of mine but his grip was too strong and he didn't seem to realize I wasn't comfortable with this. I sighed and just let him hold my hand.

"How far along are you again?" he asked.

"Almost 6 months." I said.

"Wow." he said. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Nope. Haven't gone to the doctor yet."

"Well, I bet he's a boy." Fitz said, smiling.

I laughed. "I bet she's a girl."

"Whatever you say." Fitz said. "I'd be happy with either."

He paused. "Are you still planning on giving him or her up for adoption?"

I sighed. I'd been avoiding that question. "I'm honestly not sure anymore."

"Well, if you were to keep it, and if all this legal stuff is over with, I'd be happy to help out." Fitz said.

"Thanks… but…" I said, my voice trailing off.

"Ah… Emo-Boy probably wouldn't be cool with it?"

"Probably not… but it's my decision so we'll have to see."

He nodded. I could hear the loud music of the party off in the distance.

Then suddenly, the loud siren of a police car screeched through the atmosphere. My breath caught in my throat.

Seconds later, I heard a voice I knew all too well.

"Clare!" Eli screamed loudly, sounding desperate.

Fitz let go of my hand and I took off running towards where I heard his voice.

"Eli!" I answered, but my voice was barely more then a whisper.

Then I saw him. Illuminated by the bright light of a spotlight. He winced and froze.

"Elijah Goldsworthy you are under arrest for the possession and distribution of illegal narcotics. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you." a cop said as he stepped out of the woods and handcuffed Eli.

I felt the blood drain from my face.

**A/N: EEEEEP. I bet most of you hated how that ended, I'm sorry. But stay tuned for the sequel which I decided to name "The Things I Do For Her." Please review! And thanks for reading this entire story!**


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